Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I feel fat...and other rantings

The thing about fat days, is that they aren't necessarily related to the actual size of the person who is experiencing the fat day. So, even tho I wear the size I wear (on the small side) I feel like a ginormo. I can feel my big fat thighs rubbing together, just below my big pregnancy sized stomach. And I've recently begun to lose all tone in my arms. Goo. That's what I am. Goo.

I am also upset about my job and the infamous corporate game. I hate the corporate game. And, furthermore, I hate living in near-constant fear that I'm risking my job over every little thing I do. Oh, you told a jackass attorney (who isn't your boss) that he was being a jackass (politely). You might get fired. Oooh, you told them to take their alleged diversity goal and shove it (also politely). You might get fired. Ooh, you don't ask how high everytime someone says jump. You might get fired. I HATE this game. And I hate it because it's such nonsense. And yet there is no way out. It's either this or not have a job. I knew I'd end up saying this -- but I miss retail. Too bad my old job wouldn't pay the bills. I wish I could be happy living with my parents forever. I'd move back home and go back to working at V.S.

In completely unrelated news, I saw a grown woman wearing a one-piece catsuit this morning. She was resplendent in her black synthetic fiber suit, with belt and zipper. Oy. She had to be older than me, but not inappropriately old to be wearing it. I can't even say she didn't have the body for it. But, honestly, who the hell puts one of those on in 2007 -- at 8 a.m. no less!! It was pretty appalling.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Science of Love

This week on NBC, love "experts" pick a date (both the woman and the activity) to help a pro-football player fall in love. Then they pit that date against one that the football player picked himself (again, the woman and the date). Aside from getting to watch the yummy Mark Consuelos for an hour, it was an interesting (albeit dubious) science experiment. The not-so-surprising fact was science picked someone completely opposite than Adam's instinct.

I would relish getting a date picked out by science. Not because I'm desperate (jerks). But because I'd be curious to see if my instinct is waaaaaay off. (Shut up - I can hear your eyes rolling from here). So honestly, I think the whole experience would prove a theory of mine right. This being that people date people they want to be attracted to, rather than necessarily picking who they're really attracted to. I mean honestly, why else would there be such an abundance of sketchy places to take the date you don't want anyone to know you're on?! (Not that I'd do that, of course.;})

Friday, June 22, 2007

Bad Friend, very Bad Friend!!!

I am not going to be a very good friend. Although I am not really close to this happening, I already know the truth. Once my friends are married, and start having children, the truth will come out. Ok, enough with the buildup. Here goes...I have a complete inability to muster up any sort of excitement for other people's children. Zero. Zip. Zilch. No, I don't want to see pictures. No I don't want to hear about Skyler's birthday party. No, I don't want to hear about Madison's dance recital. The truth of the matter is, I just don't care more than the cursory, required-by-polite-society amount. In reality, I don't care a lick.

I've been getting all kinds of practice around my office. Just about everyone in the office has at least one child. Some even have grandchildren. All they do is chatter about the soccer games, basketball games, and dance recitals (one that is particularly hard to dodge since it got out that I used to dance -- what?! I didn't know sharing that little tidbit would come back to haunt me). And then there are the older children, who get suspended from school, who won't do their homework, who are all around pains in the arses. ARGH. Shut up, shut up, shut up. I. DON'T. CARE. Don't parents have anything else to talk about?

On that same subject, there's a beach out in Lake Forest that has a 21 and up section. How awesome does that sound!? Hooray being on the beach without the kids and pails and shovels and screaming. Ahhhh, bliss.

And, I know I've said it a hundred times, but I realize in a few years, when my biological clock is doing more than blithely moving along, I may want a snot-nosed rugrat of my own. (Although I can't be certain about that). But until such time, can a girl hear something other than about other people's kids? Gah!

I'm starting to think that the same goes for other people's pets too. Although, I still want a pet. I'm also still allergic. However, I added a pet to the list of things I would buy if I were making more money. I also added language classes, incidentally. *Sigh*. What is it about sending my resume to martamack that is so difficult anyway? Well, there is the co-worker glitch. She already sent her resume, but hasn't heard back. I sincerely doubt that they would take two of us from the same place. So, I suppose I'm stuck....and broke. Meh.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Can You Keep a Secret?

Because everyone on my island is oh so discreet (snicker), I'm gonna tell you a secret. But if it gets out, EVERYBODY is ejected. And I wouldn't even tell, except that the thought is in my head, rattling and won't get out unless I push it out. So here goes....I miss the engineer. Wait! Don't freak out. Come back here. What I miss, is having a objective guy friend who will listen to the randomness that is pheebee's life and give me a poignant guy's perspective. I equally enjoyed hearing about his conquests (both failed and successful. Although the failed ones were more entertaining, because boys are sooooo clueless). Given that my law school husband is now married to a real-life wife, I don't really get the chance to talk with him anymore. And, of course, the ninja is permanently off the island (stop rolling your eyes. He is!).

So, now that I've done a decent job of finding some chick friends, I am now on the hunt for a couple guy friends. Both gay and straight. (Because every girl needs a gay boyfriend). And before you even think of suggesting martamack, allow me to point out the addition to his nickname...MARRIED martamack. He's married with children. Al Bundy does not an analyzer of randomness make. And, while I totally grant his general entertainment value, he would not be the welcome recipient of drunk dials. Nor would he have his own random stories to tell. And don't go suggesting 2DP either. He's so far above the randomness analyzer -- duh! See previous ode. So, the hunt for a gay boyf and guy-friend begins!

Monday, June 18, 2007

NBC Inspired

So, today I was watching N - B - C (read that with the ding, ding, dong), and I was duly inspired by to blog.

First, the show Age of Love. Is this a sign from the heavens that I should be open to older men? Shut up, that's a rhetorical question. This show pits cougars vs. "kittens"...a clever and hilarious comparison, I might add. Cougars are the ladies in their 40s. Kittens are the chicks in their 20s. Honestly, I don't know how realistic the contest is, given that the 40 year olds are slim and trim; and only a couple of them actually have children. But here's what is slightly lame. The producers of the show were a bit sensational with the age comparisons. They showed the kittens hoola-hooping in their suite; followed by a shot of the cougars reading and knitting. I'm not certain how I feel about this. I'm a kitten, by their terms...I should like to think that I wouldn't be standing about in a bikini hoola-hooping while waiting to meet the guy.

It's funny that the show was on today in particular. I went to Starbucks with MMM today, and apparently a really old guy was checking me out the entire time we were there. Ew. Anyway, what's a regular kitten to do when her looks go? I mean, clearly that guy was checking me out cuz he's old and I'm young -- and today I was looking rather adorable with shirley temple curls. But, what happens when shirley temple curls aren't enough to cover up whatever new flaws I have when I'm a cougar? Hmm...

In related news, NBC is also airing the alleged historic interview with the princes. My only comment to that is why am I supposed to care? Honestly!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The iRack

This is hilarious. The punchline is extended, but completely unexpected. Enjoy!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Mo' Money

My co-worker (who doesn't have a handle yet) and I were fantasizing about getting a BigFirm job someday (hopefully soon) just so we could make more money. We were also speculating whether it would be worth it for the impossible number of hours we'd be required to work. Given that my company currently pays about half what BigFirm does, but also requires half as many hours, it really is a tough call. In the topsy-turvy world o' j.d.s, you have to make a choice. Quality of Life vs. Quality of Paycheck. Thus, this is a common debate among j.d.s everywhere. (To be honest, what probably sparked the whole debate is martamack's attempts to convince us both to come to his BigFirm).

Anyway, I could just imagine all the things I could do if I was making twice as much money. For starters, I wouldn't have to budget my money so tightly -- the past 8 years of being so frugal has given me a mind to be sensible...but extra money would sure go a long way on the weekends. For instance, I wouldn't have to choose between going out downtown on Friday or Saturday. I could go BOTH days!!! Imagine the possibilities...Not having to be worried that it costs $20 roundtrip in a cab to get downtown.

And of course, there are the shoes. *Sigh. I'd finally get the Christian Louboutins I've always wanted. And I could pay off my car. Boy oh boy. I could just imagine. On the other hand; would it be worth it to lose another 40 hours a week to the office?

Face Time

Technology is often accused of being the death of face-to-face contact. I can see where critics are coming from. So many of my friends are far, far away; and instant messenger makes it easy to stay in touch, and stay close. But, it makes it slightly more difficult to get close to people I meet in real life. Not so much difficult because I don't trust them, but because they can't stand up to my close friends who are far away. (Of course, the SiQ and Mr. 2DP do set the bar quite high -- {that's a mini-ode to you guys!! pheebee luvs ya!}).

Although, I will say this, technology may make personal connections less necessary than before, but certain emotions are just not as effective through type and txt. Thus, I challenge the critics to remember the last time they were REALLY ticked at someone, and note that the person never would have known just how ticked off you were, except for the fact that you were standing 4 inches from their face and telling them. For that one time alone, I am positive that technology will never actually replace face-to-face contact.

And honestly, what woman is accepting a marriage proposal over txt? Although, I guess there are people who do what is essentially a jumbo-tron text don't they? Note to y'all: when my future spouse is looking for proposal suggestions, that's a bad one. :}

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tick Tock

Dude. Remember back in October or so when I was having wicked uncontrollable mood swings? I feel those happening again. Gah! How do women put up with this every month?! And how do I reverse whatever it is I did to start getting them?!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I need a Bulls connection

I've decided I'm going to try out for next year's Luvabulls team. There is a woman on there now, who's from my home state, went to my alma mater, was born 2 days after I was, and is 3 years older than me. Basically, she is pheebee in three years. But, I can't figure out when try-outs are. All I know is that I missed them for the '07-'08 season. Anyone have any idea how I can make it happen for '08-'09?!?!