Homophobic

Ok, so normally I make fun of people who are homophobic. Frankly, I think it takes some serious arrogance to be so full of yourself (as a straight person) that you think all gay people are trying to hit on you. usually, this is only applicable to men, but you get my point. My favorite source of homophobia is often the gym locker room. To hear a straight man tell it, every guy in the locker room that isn't straight is ogling their locker room-mates the way an eagle eyes its prey. I usually erupt into a fit of giggles at this point. Seriously? Those gay men aren't impressed with you.

Anyway, recent conversations have revealed that the Titan is even more homophobic than the typical black man. I think it's in a black man's DNA to be at least somewhat homophobic.

All this backstory for this: I was at the gym today and after cardio class I needed to take a shower. (My shower is under construction). Anyway, as I walked into the shower, an older Asian woman was standing in the shower, bathing, WITH THE DOOR OPEN. Ok, I'm all fine and good if you are pro-nakedness. That's cool. But why are you showering with the door open?!!? Anyway, I choose to ignore this, and proceed to a shower in the corner, close to the wall. As I'm standing there, taking out my shower cap, I hear (but don't turn to look at) her walk out of the shower and in my general direction. Ok, fine, do what you do. I could see that there was a bag of shower stuff hanging on a hook, she probably needed shampoo or what have you. And then I hear "Oh! Excuse me..." In a "gee, I hope you brought a big hammer!" kind of way. (Insert the bow chica wow wow music here). My first thought is "how can you possibly be surprised. Pheebee is a nice caramel-chocolatey color, standing in front of a gray wall. It's not like I blended in. So, I turn to ("d'oh! she's still naked!") and say that's ok. And she reaches into the bag to get whatever the heck she needs. And then she walks (I hear, not see) back to the shower. I assume she leaves the shower open.

Ok, all of this is a little disconcerting. I spend the next 15 minutes in my shower stall WITH THE DOOR CLOSED, wondering if there is a system in the girls locker room too? Have I unwittingly been propositioned the way the good Senator Larry Craig of Minnesota (allegedly) propositioned some dude in the airport bathroom? My fears are only intensified when I hear her flip flopping back to the wall (and incidentally, near my stall) and feel cold USED water droplets on my shoulder. I assume she shook her wet hair out or something. But, excuse me, please keep your cold wet and USED water to yourself and out of my stall, thank you. Then I say to myself, hmm, perhaps the older Asian lady is after a nice piece of caramelly chocolatey pheebee. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Well, I did manage to leave the shower without incident. But I definitely wrapped the towel a twee bit tighter around myself. Honestly! I'm cool with being hit on by a chick or what have you. But can we keep the naked propositioning to ourselves? Thanks.

This whole line of thought, and subsequent posting, really gives me a twee bit of empathy for the homophobics out there. They are still completely ridiculous. But, I guess I'll have to take a little bit of the skepticism out of my eyebrow arch the next time I hear some straight guy whine about the gay men in their locker room. But only a little bit...

Gentleman Friend

Question of the day. What makes a guy your boyfriend? At what point are you "official"? Is a "talk" or declaration required? Among my friends and the Mafia, we can't agree. For me, once I am exclusively dating someone, that person is automatically my boyfriend. For other friends of mine, exclusively dating is separate and distinct from boyfriend. In fact, only those worthy of "meeting the parents" are boyfriends. So when does it happen?

SiQ and some other friends have begun referring to the Titan as my boyfriend. Mostly they do it just to get under my skin. But, SiQ argued that he and I are all but dating exclusively (as far as we know), and have been doing so for quite some time. But I tell her and others that we have not had a discussion about exclusivity. Therefore, we are technically allowed to date other people. In fact, not that long ago, I considered going out with the Humping Penguin. HP was making a full court press for about a day -- make that a morning -- but he never followed through. Technically, I could've gone out with him.

Then, of course, there is the Engineer. My current date to the international madwoman's wedding. Right now, the Engineer isn't in the Titan's consciousness. The Titan has no right to know, since we aren't exclusive. All the exclusive talk will do is force me to mention the Engineer and the convoluted mess that spans across three time zones. How is that good for anybody?

So, my official stance on the boyfriend question is that a "talk" must be had. Until such time that we talk, I am a swingin' single baby!

It Girl Out

So, I have finally used up the last of my perks from when I was the It Girl. On Sunday, I used my gift card to the fancy schmancy shoe store.

Officially, I have purchased the most expensive shoes I've ever owned (boots notwithstanding). Grant it, I didn't pay full price out of my own pocket. But, I was hesitant to buy them anyway. Something about spending that kind of money on a pair of shoes that I will likely wear maybe 4 times just seems outrageous. For the record, they were $130 + tax. I had a gift card for $100 and then a $10 frequent shopper discount. (No, I'm not a frequent shopper, but they gave it to me anyway).

But here's the thing. People spend this kind of money on shoes all the time. Grant you, they are super cute. But why oh why are you spending $130 on a single pair of platform hot pink sandals? Admittedly, they are super comfortable. Maybe if they turn out to be as comfortable as tennis shoes, I'll figure out why they're worth $130.