And now, for some updating on the #101in1001:

41. Visit the Shedd Aquarium

43. Visit the Museum of History & Sue

45. Attend gospel brunch

46. Complete physical therapy

47. Play tennis

97. Go to Skydeck at the Sears Tower

I actually need to give a shout-out to the Youngblood for wanting to do #41, #43, and #97. #45 is courtesy of my Ma, since she's been asking to go to the gospel brunch for about 4 years. I finally took her for her birthday this month. The Skydeck was pretty awesome. The Museum of History and Sue were just like every other museum ever built ever. I hate to admit this, but frankly, if I never see another museum for the rest of my life I'll be fine. No matter what country I'm in, they are all the same. Middle Ages, Golden Age, Modern Age, blah blah blah, whatever.

The gospel brunch was pretty awesome. It was culturally disjointed. The music was classic southern Negro spiritual, but the audience was mostly white. Odd. That said, one of the audience participants who really got down with the get down was a tall lankly white guy in his early twenties or so. It was fantastic.

Sure, I'm getting all of the easy ones out of the way first -- but that just leaves me 2 years to get moving on the difficult stunts. (Buying a car?! What was I thinking?!!?!)

A little housekeeping :)

46. Complete physical therapy

69. Attempt a new seafood recipe

I've had a productive week!

Check off!

A few more things down...

8. Do something drastic to my hair (Long weave...not quite Kardashian-esque, but definitely out of the box for me!!)

9. Return to working out (Cleared as of last Saturday!!)

28. Get certified as a group fitness instructor


Let's just say, it's been a productive week. What's up next?! (This is one of the rare occasions when I actually believe the journey is just as fun as the destination!

2 items down :)

As they say, it feels good to cross things off the list. Allow me to check off a couple items:

37. Go to new restaurants during Restaurant Week
38. Send myself flowers on Valentines Day

What's next?? :)

Day One

Today is the first day of my 101 things to do in 1001 days. And, I am SO excited! It's my chance to set multiple goals for myself, and give me something to strive for. And so, without any ado, behold, my list!

1. Go to South Beach
2. Save $10,000
3. Complete kitchen
4. Complete bathroom
5. Become a fitness instructor
6. Chase happy rather than money
7. Leave the country
8. Do something drastic to my hair
9. Return to working out
10. Organize paperwork
11. Have palm read
12. Go to Tampa
13. Go to DC
14. Re-start saving for retirement
15. Get a massage
16. Send pics in to a modeling agency
17. Pay off credit cards
18. Buy new car
19. Buy fur lined gloves
20. Buy new rainboots
21. Fire a gun
22. Zip line in Vegas
23. Join a charity board
24. Volunteer 3 times each year
25. Visit Lincoln Park Zoo
26. Eat at Conoce mi Panama
27. Make 3 presentations as a panelist
28. Get certified as a group fitness instructor
29. Go back to Lambeau field
30. Attend 3 cultural events per year
31. Eat a candelit dinner at my dining table
32. Go to a psychologist
33. Have a healthy relationship
34. Bring in 3 new clients
35. Go on a vacation as a couple
36. Ski or snowboard
37. Go to new restaurants during Restaurant Week
38. Send myself flowers on Valentines Day
39. Go to Park 52
40. Go to a Bulls game
41. Visit the Shedd Aquarium
42. Visit the DuSable Museum
43. Visit the Museum of History & Sue
44. Picnic at Millenium Park
45. Attend gospel brunch
46. Complete physical therapy
47. Play tennis
48. Buy Starbucks for a stranger
49. Begin scrapbooking or otherwise organizing pictures
50. Re-frame pics from Arkansas
51. Re-do scrapbook from home
52. Find daily devotional and study
53. Play the slots at a casino
54. Make a sportsbook bet with the Titan
55. Get alarm for condo
56. Eat lobster
57. Play fantasy football in a buy-in league
58. Plant a flower box
59. Take Hip Hop Hustle certification
60. Return to July 2011 weight or better
61. Go salsa dancing
62. Go to family reunion
63. Sell Columbia coat on eBay
64. Attend a concert
65. Attend a jazz concert
66. Attend blues fest
67. See Too White Crew
68. Invent oatmeal recipes
69. Attempt a new seafood recipe
70. Send greeting cards for any reason other than Christmas
71. Bake a cake
72. Send Christmas cards
73. Send written notes to friends and family
74. Reduce sugar intake
75. Have tea at the Drake Hotel
76. Have tea at the Russian Tea Room
77. Learn to drive a stick
78. Get a physical
79. Have a wine tasting party
80. Bake bread
81. Ride a horse
82. Have a brunch party
83. Go to the botanic gardens
84. Visit the Domes (if they're still open)
85. Take Miller Brewery tour
86. Get a bicycle
87. Ride a bike to the gym on a regular basis
88. Donate blood
89. Create a list of 10 movies I must watch, based on friend recommendations and then watch them
90. Donate clothes to Goodwill
91. Organize recipes
92. Spend a day at the beach
93. Don't complain about anything for a week
94. Create 5 new playlists in iTunes
95. Make someone breakfast in bed
96. Have a cocktail in the Signature Room
97. Go to Skydeck at the Sears Tower
98. Learn to jump start a car
99. Ride a motorcycle
100. Read 10 books on a list of 100 books everyone should read
101. Learn to tie a tie

And, I can officially cross off #38. I sent myself flowers for this very Valentine's Day. As established last year, I am soooooo awesome!!

70 things...

Previously, I posted about a list I was making. I'm making a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. The official start date (as suggested by Jade) is February 14, 2012. As Jade put it, Valentine's Day is the perfect start date, because this is the perfect date to show love to yourself. Well put, lady!

Categories can run the gamut, so I've got things like "finish design of kitchen & baths" and "travel out of the country." I've got savings goals, dating goals, and charitable goals. And yet, I still need a ton of time to create my list! I am running out of things to add...I don't want to make a long travel list, because I want to make the list realistic. And in real life, I can't travel to 50 different places in just under 3 years. Same thing for money goals -- you can only do so much with what money you have. So while maybe I'd like to save a million dollars in 1001 days, I won't be making a million dollars in that time.

So what else is there? Or, more specifically, what else do I need to do in the next 2.75 years? I'm totally open to suggestions!

1001 days

My co-worker gave me a great idea and I'm totally stealing it from her. She was seeking suggestions for her list of 101 things to do within 1001 days. A little googling led me to this website explaining the project.. I love list-making and I love goal-setting, so this just seemed like a nifty journey to embark upon.

The parameters on this website are bit stringent for me. I don't think everything on the list needs to be a "stretch." Sometimes, it's just about getting something done -- or doing something I've always wanted to do. And so, I am now taking suggestions on what to do!

I also wonder what date I should use. If I end it on Dec 31, 2014 (which seemed like an easy date to pick), I don't have to start until April 4. But then, I thought April 4 was so far away that I would lose interest. So then I thought ending it on my birthday of 2014, but I realized that a.) it was too late for 1001 days until that date, and b.) I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. So then, I thought maybe my half birthday would be a good day (November 22, 2014), because I typically begin to clean house and look back over my life around that time. But, it's kind of a lame day to end something. Then, I looked at Christmas Day, 2014. And, that too seemed silly. Maybe I'll start on Chinese New Year of this year...which is January 23, 2012. I'm concerned that might be too soon to come up with a list.

Basically, I'm officially taking suggestions on the list AND on the start (or end) date. I think my backup start date will be Feb 29, 2012, which has me ending on the day before Thanksgiving, 2014. Hm...that could be a good day too.

I'm already excited to start this new journey. Who's with me?!!?

Maintain the Awesome, Raise the Awesome

When it comes to reaching a goal, it's super important to work to get there. There are books, blogs, articles, hell a whole damn industry to help you reach your goals. Be them improving your self-esteem, getting ahead in your career, losing weight (natch)-- there are a myriad of goals to set and achieve. But you know what's rarely discussed? What to do once you get there.

First, there is a certain level of dedication required to maintain your goal. Once you've reached that top, you have to find your own motivation to stay there. I, for example, tend to have a lot of enthusiasm and dedication when it comes to working hard to get somewhere. But once the "chase" is over, and I've got that gold star, I'm kind of over it. Grant it, I'm usually pretty impressed with myself for achieving whatever I was after, but once I hit that goal? Done. For example, I did everything in my power to learn 4 languages (French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian). In 2006, I was a polyglot extraordinaire. By 2007, I was back down to just 2 additional languages. I worked my brainiac booty off for more than 2 decades...earning a post-graduate degree by the time I was 24. After I had it, *meh*. Honestly? Millions of people have the same degree. And, of course, weight loss goals are a constant source of pain. But, once I reach that goal? I love the result, but I lose all motivation for going to the gym.*

Sooooo...what to do about that? Perhaps setting a goal for maintaining. But that seems silly. Perhaps doing something to continue to award yourself as you maintain your goal. But that seems lame. Now taking suggestions :).

One thing that drives me a little bananas is how once you've achieved a goal, there are people (haters) out there who get totally offended when you set another, higher goal. A common refrain among this crowd is "you should be grateful for what you have!!" Is there a rule out there somewhere that says that when striving to raise the level of awesome, you are necessarily ungrateful for the current level of awesome? Why would that be? If that were true, we'd all have to be satisfied with wherever we are. Stuck in perpetuity in order to show gratitude for making it there. That is just plain asinine. Listen, I once read a quote from Etta Moten Barnett, and I've had it on my blog profile ever since: "the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth." Getting in a rut just to prove your gratitude is the dumbest idea ever. Clearly, those who say you aren't grateful for what you've got if you're trying to improve are just haters tryin' to hold you back. Tell those people to go kick rocks** and keep striving. We all owe it to ourselves to maximize the awesome and reach our full potential. (Or at least, find out just how far you can go!).

*EFF THE GYM!!!

**In flip flops. Nah.

Fitness modeling

I'm not sure I've ever admitted it here, but one of my secret goals in life is to become a fitness model. It all started in law school when I was reading a copy of Shape or Fitness or Oxygen magazine. While I was busy not doing the suggested exercises, and instead reading the articles, I came across the section where they interviewed and photographed some fitness models. This was shortly after I hired my very first personal trainer and set a weight loss goal for myself. One thing I noticed about all the ladies featured in the article is that they were short. Around my height. It gave me hope that I could someday grace the cover of a magazine too.

Having no clue on how to achieve this goal, it's more or less remained on the backburner. I found it resurfacing when I accepted The Mission. An acquaintance from school once told me to verbalize my goals and dreams. Because you never know who you know -- and people want to help others acheive their dreams. So, with the impending Mission, and all the work necessary to acheive my goals, I began verbalizing my desire to be a fitness model.

And, side note? It should go without saying that most of my arrogance is all bluster. I'm not trying to imply that I am hot stuff. I'm just saying that I'd like to take some pictures and have them published somewhere after I worked my ass off...literally.

Anyway, one of the people I verbalized this to was the Ninja. Pause for collective groan. As part of his frenzied offer to trespass back into my life and on my last nerve, he said he could train me. The very thought of having to deal with his over-emotional philosphizing about the state of our defunct-never-to-return-from-the-dead relationship was a lot to bear. I was fairly certain I'd turn down that offer.

Another person who made the same offer was my former trainer, the Diesel. Diesel is a ginormously freakishly huge guy. He's roughly the size of Goliath. With legs the width of tree trunks, hands the size of dinner plates, and a neck that has the same circumference as one of my not-insubstantial-thighs. To top that off, he's 7 feet tall, topped off by dreds which resemble the hair of a rag doll (Black Raggedy Ann -- Blaggedy Ann?). He's the color of dark chocolate, and has a facial structure not unlike the face of a Mayan sculptural mask. Suffice it to say, when he's around, you notice him. Unfortunately, he's also one of those huge and athletic guys, that he has no awareness of his body movements. When he's speaking to me, he would stand at roughly the same distance as one might stand relative to a puppy. (Towering and WAY too close). He is completely clueless as to the fact that my neck is breaking trying to make eye contact, and that the very act of having the conversation requires me to bed my spine in unnatural ways, and that his personal space has not only invaded mine, but has taken it over and is holding my personal space as a POW.

That said, training with him was exhausting. Yes, he whipped my butt into shape, but it took a huge amount of restraint on my part, not to substitute one of the dead lifts for exercising my quads and hams with kicking him squarely in the nuts. To accompany his herculean proportions, he also had an ego that took up most of the gym, and a pea-sized brain to go with it. I can't say that he was a stupid man. Rather, he was narrow minded. So maybe instead of a pea brain, he had a vanilla bean brain. He spent most of our sessions alternating between providing ridiculous examples of how great he was (did you know the female attorneys at the firm where he worked would ask him to come sit in their office? Just so they could look at him!!); and offending my feminist or liberal sensibilities (a man is going to stay with you, just so he can break you down.). All of this would be fine-ish, if he wasn't just preening and peacocking around in an attempt to wow me with his greatness. I doubt that he's hitting on me in particular, it's just that I'm a girl that he gets to spend an hour with once a week. And, he can reasonably be expected to touch me. But, pray-the-eff-tell, what sort of spotting requires you to touch my waist constantly? And why do I suspect that while you're watching my form, you're simultaneously picturing me naked?

While I don't think either of these offers would truly come to anything; they did make me wonder what I would put up with for a free lunch? Incessant whining and philosphizing? Or, insulting egomania? I think part of the problem is that I don't know if this dream is even worth pursuing. Without knowing anything about it, how would I know whether I could actually make this happen? What if, after I've walked 500 miles in the snow, uphill, both ways -- I find that you need to invest a large sum of money, or take a spin on the audition couch, or quit your day job to make this happen? I guess then, not only do I have a great butt, but I'm also on the verge of committing homicide for the person doing me a "favor."

Manifesto continues!

Well, slowly but surely, I'm raising the level of awesome in my life. Since my last post, I've been going to the gym more consistently. Yay for that! I've also been cleaning more consistently. Speaking of which, can I just wax poetic for a moment about the Swiffer WetJet? Whoever invented that should be given a medal of honor. That sucker keeps my otherwise icky floors clean as a whistle. It is fantastic because it's just as clean with a lot less effort than a real mop and bucket situation! It does so well that I just gave away my old mop. I definitely feel like those hilarious Swiffer commercials! Another ease of use product that has made life better? The Fresh Shower spray. You know the type? Where you spray your shower down after you get out and it helps you clean? LOVE IT. And this time, it actually does a better job than the soap and sponge method. My shower really holds on to overall grime (not specific dirt, but just the kind that hangs around when a shower is old...). Even after soaking the tub in bleach I just couldn't get rid of the water stains. Now? After letting the fresh shower do its thing, I am actually starting to see a difference. Nice!

Ahem, back to the manifesto. The level of awesome is moving slowly but surely. I'm only on week 3 of working out with the trainer as of tomorrow, but last week I did hit the gym 5 days. My workouts aren't as intense as before, but frankly "less intense than before" is a helluva lot more intense than not at all. Today, I suffered a little bit of a setback of the sore throat variety, but we're only on the 2nd day of the week. Hopefully, I've fought this cold hard enough that I will be able to go everyday the rest of this week. Hooray!

So, my next milestone? Halloween. I've decided to retire the Snow White costume, and replace it with something equally cute and scandalous. In order to do that, I'm going to have to get my act together in roughly 6 weeks. On the weight watchers schedule, that could be anywhere from 6-12 lbs between now and then. So, we'll see how that goes...Let the costume shopping begin. Because I? I am an "after" picture waiting to happen. ;)

A Disciplined Manifesto!

A Manifesto

The stresses of the past 3 months have taken a toll on my physical well-being. Which has resulted in a negative impact on my mental well-being. So, as of today, pheebee is making a manifesto!

It all started with the breakup. That led to the standard cycle of skip the gym, eat comfort food, watch tv, start all over. It’s a cycle familiar to women everywhere. Oddly enough, right before the cycle started, I had a loss of appetite. The failure to eat probably led to the lethargy, which is why I started skipping the gym in the first place. I was abruptly pulled out of my breakup blues by the mortgage crisis. When my funding didn’t go through (due to the direct negligence of my mortgage broker), I jumped into survival mode. Which meant, skip the gym, eat sporadically, and panic. Also not the best choice for a healthy lifestyle. Finally, packing and moving, and unpacking, and being homeless led to choices of convenience. I was staying at someone else’s house, therefore it was inconvenient to go to the gym. Then, I was eating mostly on the run, so I didn’t make the healthy choices, I made the tastiest choices. Now, I’m living in the new place, and *sigh* the gym is just so darned far away.

So now, here we are. Chubbier than we used to be – and likely carrying around all the weight previously lost while on weight watchers all that time ago. Enough, is enough. (Although admittedly, I kind of enjoy the weight gain in the booby region. I finally have enough for an ohh la la moment! Yay me!)

Breaking up, funding a mortgage, and moving has disrupted my discipline. (Which, has not only affected my body, but also the cleanliness of the new place). And while I fully acknowledge that for most people, I’m not remotely chubby (wouldn’t even register on the radar. No one hears you when you’re still a size 4). And my house probably isn’t that messy (I was just raised by a neat freak). I’ve decided to rein this in before things get too out of hand. Now is the time to do something about it.

Ahem, insert manifest here!

I will return to the gym, with a vengeance. Even if it means robbing a bank to pay for a personal trainer.

I will return to Weight Watchers. If they did it once, they can do it again.

I will be more disciplined about how I spend my time. My house is unpacked enough that I can begin a regular cleaning schedule. Even if it means cleaning boxes.

I will set strategic goals and benchmarks of achievement, so that I don’t lose sight of what I want.

Ad Nauseum

So, on Monday I saw an ad in the RedEye for a fundraiser for the Respiratory Health Association of Metropolitan Chicago. Instead of a run/walk, volunteers will be rappelling down the side of theWit Hotel!! How cool does that sound?! On Tuesday, I sent out an email to nearly everyone I know asking if they'd be willing to donate. On Tuesday night, I had insomnia so I signed up. On Wednesday, I started my big electronic push to get funds from friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, friends of family, co-workers of family, etc. I even posted a link and status updates about my efforts on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Now, I'm about 58% to goal, and I've got a ways to go. For the record, I will have to cover any difference between what I raise and what is the goal. Which, I must say, is an excellent motivator. But now? Even I am sick of hearing myself talk about it! I've managed to slip it into so many conversations I'm starting to think I'm playing a perpetual game of 6 degrees of RHAMC (get it? Instead of Kevin Bacon?).

I'm almost done though. I go over the edge of theWit in 2 days. The irony here is that I've now managed to put it on yet another crazy. Ha ha!

Motivating factors

See this? This is me writing a blog about nothing instead of doing any sort of packing. Lately, I've noticed my energy being completely zapped without warning or reason. The last time I felt like this, it was a direct result of the sheer magnitude of displeasure for my job. Now, I hardly feel the same way about my current position. Sure, I'm not the biggest fan of my current position. But, it's not so bad that it makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball. On the other hand, I guess I'm not all that enthused about it either.

Anyway, this lack of energy has been extending to my workout regimen. (Enter the feeling of missing the Titan for his obvious motivating energy). Unfortunately, I've only been to the gym once in the past three weeks. Bah! This is terrible because a.) I don't look as cute, and b.) I have a very special visitor coming in 3 weeks. How does one get motivated to drop some weight in 3 weeks so that when a certain engineer arrives into town his jaw hits the ground?

I really need to re-commit to my general goals. Suggestions?

Lactating

So, I decided to go to the gym. Oddly, I went because I assume I want to be a hot mama for the Memorial Day holiday. But honestly? This was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like I had to go; despite the fact that I have for sure gained weight.

Anyway, this was my first time at the gym in about 3 weeks, give or take. Bad idea to take that kind of time off. Man, my skin was itching like I had poison ivy from the inside. SiQ has informed me that this itchy horrible feeling is the result of lactic acid, and is solved by eating bananas. Unfortunately, I kind of hate bananas.

I must have had enough lactic acid coursing under my skin to give the nearest infant heartburn. (See that? That's why I wanted to write this blog -- just for that one-liner right there. Clever, no?)

I'm going to try to officially jump back on the wagon. Wish me luck!

Weight Watchers, Schmeight Watchers

Ok, so I was all for setting an attainable weight loss goal. For those of you keeping track, the goal was 2 lbs a month from January to September-ish. I was a gym bunny, right-eating, machine. It's been roughly 6 weeks, and I am SICK of it. I am exhausted, and really tired of the gym. I've managed to skip two scheduled days this week, and still take the usual 1 day off. Normally, I feel horrible about this. All kinds of bad about myself and all that jazz. This time, I don't feel anything but content. It's odd, but it's as though I got really burned out really fast. I'm not sure what that means.

One of my usual motivators was seeing results. And my past few weeks of serious gym bunnyness and weight watchers-ing has been pretty good to me. In fact, it makes me think that my goal is actually attainable. Except, I don't care to bother getting there. I'm wondering if maybe I need to cut down from 5 days to 4 days. On the other hand, I wonder if I cut down to 4 days, if I will eventually excuse myself from going at all?

Oh, as a side note. They say that when you skip breakfast, you actually end up snacking more during the day. Well, I will raise my hand to that one. Today, I intended on eating a protein plate from Starbucks (I know, it's overpriced and I could totally make it myself, but I have yet to remember to purchase the requisite ingredients when I am at the market). Anyway, my friendly local Starbucks was all out. So, I had no granola bar and no protein plate. I spent the rest of my day in search of snacks. Fortunately it was too cold to bother going outside to forage. I can't guarantee that I won't be late-night snacking on some unearned popcorn though!

Raise Your Right Hand

DeBeers had an ad campaign for a while that had a tag line that said "Ladies, raise your right hand." The gist of the ad was that you're saving your left ring finger for the rock that the love of your life buys you. But, as a modern superwoman, what's keeping you from beautifying your right hand? I took this to heart, given my abysmal dating history.

I've been planning to get myself this ring since I got my first job. Well, I am on my second job, and still no new and fabulous right hand ring. Well, when I was in Boston, I saw the most fantastic right hand ring. It was $1800. Naturally, I left it in Boston. But it was black and white diamonds, set in white gold. It was some serious bling. But it was "understated bling" as kd. called it. (See it here). Well, when I got back home, I googled it, and I found the store's website, where it had been marked down to $1200. Nope, still can't afford it. Then, I checked it again with the intention of emailing it to my mom, and it was marked down to $906.50. Still can't afford it, RATS! So, I figure, maybe I can find a jeweler to make it more cheaply. I call the jewelry store up in Madison that used to design jewelry. I emailed them a picture, and they said they could definitely make it. But it would cost $1500, since they would use quality diamonds. (The one in the picture uses a lower quality diamond and metal. Something I wouldn't have even bothered to look at if he hadn't said something).

Well, the sale ended before $900 managed to appear in my account, so I still don't own the ring. But, I have officially decided that I will get myself a fantastic right hand ring made by the jeweler in Madison by my birthday. I have even called the jeweler and made plans to make plans. This, my friends, is an official declaration of a goal. Ready, start saving!

25 is a big number

I have a friend who sent around an email of a new year's suggestion. What she suggests is making a list of 25 accomplishments for the year and 25 goals for the year. It's the same premise of writing new year's resolutions, but far more involved and introspective. So far, I have one of each written. Accomplishment #1: not cursing anybody out at work, even though they clearly deserved it. Goal #1: raising my salary to it's former level either via a raise or via commission.

And that's all I have so far. 25 is such a big number! I mean, obviously, I'll have weight goals and weight accomplishments, because I constantly obsess over my size. But other than that??! No idea. Ok, that's not entirely true. I have an idea. But where am I supposed to come up with 25 goals and accomplishments? I'm not even sure which is more difficult. Probably accomplishments. I've heard that a lot of women have trouble tooting their own horn. I am not one of these women. i am quite capable of mentioning my fabulousness. But, I do have trouble being proud of things that should just be. For example. I make my bed everyday, and generally keep my house neat. It's always a goal of mine to do that; but it's really hard to consider that an accomplishment. I'm supposed to keep my house neat! That's why there's a gazillion cleaning products on the market. No credit for what you're s'posed to do anyway. At least, I don't think so. Hmmmm. Maybe my next goal should be giving myself credit even if the thing I'm doing seems minor. Does that count?!

Un-retirement

This is an essay on "why I decided not to retire." So, as I said many many months ago, I had already decided that if I didn't make either of the dance teams I tried out for, I'd go ahead and hang up my dance shoes, and be a real adult. Naturally, my mother tried to talk me out of this. My friends tried to talk me out of this. And most of the less than perceptive people in my world made many suggestions as to what I could do instead. (Grant it, they were just trying to be helpful -- but it was less helpful and more annoying).

Anyway, what actually changed my mind was an article I read in a local trade journal. It was about a lawyer who had a hobby of writing plays. He too, attempted to just keep it in the background -- something he did as a kid and in college. But eventually, he decided to just give in to the hobby. What he said, which rang true to me, is that a person cannot give up that which they loved to do as a child. For him, that was writing. For me, it's dancing. And gosh-darn-it, why should I fight it?

Besides, why retire before you're forced out? Well, I've got 7 months to get my act in gear. Darn shame I thought I was retiring...it'll be like starting all over again. (Including the 10 lbs I must have gained since the finals. *Sigh*. Why wasn't I born naturally skinny?)

Worth it?

Prep classes plus registration fee -- $99.00
8 sessions with personal trainer -- $352.00
Living broke for weeks to attempt another team try-out --- priceless?

Nope

That's the answer to the question you've been dying to know. I did not make the dance team. Of course, I guess there's bound to be at least one dance try out that I have where I don't make the team right?

The sad thing is, I totally thought I nailed it. And, moves-wise, I may have. But, just before they made the announcement, the director came in and said that for the people who didn't make it, it may have been any number of reasons why -- personality, etc. She even said "maybe you look exactly like another girl." That was the official moment that I got worried. There was an uber-awesome girl who, from far away, looked exactly like me. Crap! No, she wasn't talking to me, but for goodness' sake, how could I think anything other than that meant both of us weren't going to make it? This was sad, because that chick is awesome. I'd practiced with her on Thursday, and I really wanted us both to make it so we could hang out. Had she gone to Cornell, she def. woulda been an m-te. I was already planning to invite her to the next m-te vacation.

Anyway, I was standing there, with my parents and 2 friends, when my name was definitely not announced. (Hers was, for your FYI). So, here I am, not on a(nother) pro dance team.

So my mother, ever the optimist, spends the next 45 minutes or so deciding that I'm going to go ahead and try out for the team I'd originally planned on trying out for in October. Meanwhile, I'm bummed AND feeling less than confident about my skillz. Well, my mother is stubborn. (A trait that's hereditary, incidentally. I'll never admit to being stubborn (ha!), but everyone agrees that my g-ma was.) And so, despite the many many valid reasons I had for not trying out, my mother has gone so far as to offer to pay for the entrance fee and the prep classes. Oy.

But she can't make me go, right? On the other hand, am I really that much of a baby? (Yes.)

Funny, every time I went to practice for this last dance team, I passed the stadium for the other one. I definitely found myself thinking how nice it would be not to have drive so far. One time, I even said to myself "If I was on that team, I'd be home by now." I also remember wondering to myself whether I'd not be picked on Saturday as a sign from God that I should be on the other. Hmmm. All things to think about.

Some good news, though, my neck doesn't hurt anymore! Squee!!! And my body didn't feel completely torn up this morning. Squee!!!! Guess I was just rusty before, which means, I AM NOT OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Take that martamack.)