I admit it. There have been times when I’ve been known to set the women’s movement back a few years. Hitting up the bars with Kaia, in hopes of using my feminine wiles to get past the door and (more than a couple) free cocktails. Purposefully wearing a skirt suit to court when I knew the hiring partner (that thought I was cute) would be there. (That one wasn’t entirely my fault, if MMM had never told me that the partner thought I was cute, I never would have done it. No, really. I wouldn’t have). There have even been times where I accidentally gave an inappropriate view of my boobs (and, let’s be real, my lime green bra) to a deponent and opposing counsel or two. That one was completely subconscious though. I mean, I was just trying to stay awake by shifting positions – is it my fault that one such position involved leaning forward, as though paying attention?! Ahem. My point here, is that as a woman, I haven’t always held up the feminist banner. Sometimes, I’ve just been out and about, throwing feminine wiles, cleavage, and leg around. But today, I think I crossed all bounds of (in)decency for the workplace.
My office, like many highrises in any metropolitan area, is filled with computers, servers, printers, faxes, and other electronic devices. It’s fantastic for saving paper and all that. Not so great for maintaining a temperature anywhere above frigid. No matter the time of year, you will find a space heater and a sweater in my office. The thermostat residing on my back wall is either broken, just for show, or some sadistic contractor’s way of torturing office inhabitants. Anyway, suffice it to say that it’s effen cold in my office. All. The. Time.
Because my sweaters get worn a lot throughout the year, there always comes a time when I finally remember to take it home to wash it. You’ve got to wash the stench of greedy (and desperate) executives off your clothes every once in a while, right? After one such cleaning, today, I brought my sweater back to its royal spot of draping over the back of my chair. Lately, I’ve been suffering from pre-menopausal hot flashes, so I didn’t need to put the sweater on right away. But eventually, as with any other day, I found myself slowly draining of body heat. Before turning into a fudgsicle, I politely lifted my sweater out of my bag, and wrapped myself in it. I then left my office to make a boiling hot cup of cream and sugar with coffee.
Imagine my dismay when I returned to my office to find a crumpled Kleenex sitting just behind my chair. I mean, don’t you just hate it when you forget to clean out your pockets before doing laundry? Wait a minute…this sweater doesn’t have any pockets. And that Kleenex is not one which survived an entire drying cycle. And, since when do Kleenex have lace…OHMY..!!!!! Nobody look! Everybody avert your eyes! No one needs to know that I do, in fact, own a pair of cotton lace thongs. Oh good grief. I wonder how many people walked past and noticed…*shudder*. Let’s just hope they all thought it was Kleenex, like I did. And THAT, my friends, is why you need dryer sheets when doing laundry.
My office, like many highrises in any metropolitan area, is filled with computers, servers, printers, faxes, and other electronic devices. It’s fantastic for saving paper and all that. Not so great for maintaining a temperature anywhere above frigid. No matter the time of year, you will find a space heater and a sweater in my office. The thermostat residing on my back wall is either broken, just for show, or some sadistic contractor’s way of torturing office inhabitants. Anyway, suffice it to say that it’s effen cold in my office. All. The. Time.
Because my sweaters get worn a lot throughout the year, there always comes a time when I finally remember to take it home to wash it. You’ve got to wash the stench of greedy (and desperate) executives off your clothes every once in a while, right? After one such cleaning, today, I brought my sweater back to its royal spot of draping over the back of my chair. Lately, I’ve been suffering from pre-menopausal hot flashes, so I didn’t need to put the sweater on right away. But eventually, as with any other day, I found myself slowly draining of body heat. Before turning into a fudgsicle, I politely lifted my sweater out of my bag, and wrapped myself in it. I then left my office to make a boiling hot cup of cream and sugar with coffee.
Imagine my dismay when I returned to my office to find a crumpled Kleenex sitting just behind my chair. I mean, don’t you just hate it when you forget to clean out your pockets before doing laundry? Wait a minute…this sweater doesn’t have any pockets. And that Kleenex is not one which survived an entire drying cycle. And, since when do Kleenex have lace…OHMY..!!!!! Nobody look! Everybody avert your eyes! No one needs to know that I do, in fact, own a pair of cotton lace thongs. Oh good grief. I wonder how many people walked past and noticed…*shudder*. Let’s just hope they all thought it was Kleenex, like I did. And THAT, my friends, is why you need dryer sheets when doing laundry.
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