A Disciplined Manifesto!

A Manifesto

The stresses of the past 3 months have taken a toll on my physical well-being. Which has resulted in a negative impact on my mental well-being. So, as of today, pheebee is making a manifesto!

It all started with the breakup. That led to the standard cycle of skip the gym, eat comfort food, watch tv, start all over. It’s a cycle familiar to women everywhere. Oddly enough, right before the cycle started, I had a loss of appetite. The failure to eat probably led to the lethargy, which is why I started skipping the gym in the first place. I was abruptly pulled out of my breakup blues by the mortgage crisis. When my funding didn’t go through (due to the direct negligence of my mortgage broker), I jumped into survival mode. Which meant, skip the gym, eat sporadically, and panic. Also not the best choice for a healthy lifestyle. Finally, packing and moving, and unpacking, and being homeless led to choices of convenience. I was staying at someone else’s house, therefore it was inconvenient to go to the gym. Then, I was eating mostly on the run, so I didn’t make the healthy choices, I made the tastiest choices. Now, I’m living in the new place, and *sigh* the gym is just so darned far away.

So now, here we are. Chubbier than we used to be – and likely carrying around all the weight previously lost while on weight watchers all that time ago. Enough, is enough. (Although admittedly, I kind of enjoy the weight gain in the booby region. I finally have enough for an ohh la la moment! Yay me!)

Breaking up, funding a mortgage, and moving has disrupted my discipline. (Which, has not only affected my body, but also the cleanliness of the new place). And while I fully acknowledge that for most people, I’m not remotely chubby (wouldn’t even register on the radar. No one hears you when you’re still a size 4). And my house probably isn’t that messy (I was just raised by a neat freak). I’ve decided to rein this in before things get too out of hand. Now is the time to do something about it.

Ahem, insert manifest here!

I will return to the gym, with a vengeance. Even if it means robbing a bank to pay for a personal trainer.

I will return to Weight Watchers. If they did it once, they can do it again.

I will be more disciplined about how I spend my time. My house is unpacked enough that I can begin a regular cleaning schedule. Even if it means cleaning boxes.

I will set strategic goals and benchmarks of achievement, so that I don’t lose sight of what I want.

Things they forgot to mention...

I made my first mortgage payment today. It may have been the biggest check I’ve ever written. Truthfully? I did not find that particular part of the home ownership process enjoyable. In fact, it was the opposite of enjoyable. But, I guess it’s part of joining the club of adulthood. Boo!

I’ve also discovered a new problem with this condo. The elements that are most desirable when condo shopping turn out to be the biggest pain in the arse in real life. For instance, let’s discuss the floors. Home buyers get so excited when they see the phrase “hdwd thru-out.” Do you know how much more maintenance a hardwood floor requires? A ton! With carpet, you’ve got 15 minutes with a vacuum cleaner, vroom vroom, you’re done. Hardwood floors? Not so much. They attract dust like magnets. And even once you sweep, you still have to go behind with a wet mop. Booo!
Another bit of happy? Granite countertops. Verrrry purty. And again, impossible to clean! You can’t just use plain old cleaner. Oh no. You need special granite cleaner. Pfft. What? Too good for 409?!

In other news, the closet is still a work in progress. I have a furniture designer who is drawing up plans to trick it out. I’ve already stressed the importance of shoe and accessory storage. Let’s hope he understands the importance of a shoe collection!

Soft Launch

This weekend I held a soft launch at the Manor. I figured, if a swanky resto can have a pre-official opening party, then why shouldn't I?! Since my dad was making massive amounts of bbq, I decided that this weekend would be the perfect time to host that party. (As a side note, did I ever mention that my dad is an awesome grillmaster? Because he is. Just sayin').

Anyway, I decided to host this Saturday party on Wednesday. This is very very bad for someone who suffers from party panic. By Thursday, I was ready to cancel because I didn't have enough time to properly plan for the party. I didn't have time to plan the menu, map out the space, properly consider the guest list. It felt very much thrown together, which is not really conducive to throwing the best party ever. NOT! Despite my panic (and likely thanks to good friends talking me off a ledge), the party went off without incident. I was really impressed with the guy/girl ratio...although the guys were mostly part of a couple. I had been aiming for a better mix of singles and couples, but the guy singles all bailed on me. (Jerks!). I did do a fine job of having a diverse crowd -- age, race, career. It felt good knowing that I had a wide variety of friends, AND they all got along really well.

All in all, I'd say it was my first adult party, and it went pretty well. Now, to set the grand opening. I'm thinking about a year from now? :)

Nomad Chic

I have been advised, on more than one occasion, not to rush into buying furniture. As my one friend put it “don’t rush into buying stuff just to fill the space. You’re bound to move, and there’s no way to tell whether the things you buy will fit in the space you move to. Better to find stuff you love instead.”

Ok, so this is a valid point. I rushed to fill the space at my last apartment because I had no furniture at all. But this time around, I do have some form of furniture. So, I have no excuse to go out willy-nilly buying furniture.

For me though, the whole place just feels unfinished. It feels like I haven’t fully moved in yet, or fully made it mine. I want to start adding elements that make it me. Fortunately, I haven’t figured out what that means yet, so I guess it hardly matters that I’m not out buying things. No sense going shopping if you haven’t decided on a theme yet. Although, heads up…the theme for the front room is going to be peacock feathers. Everyone who’s excited to see it come to life raise your hand!

One Man Short

There’s something to be said about having a man around the house. As I begin mapping out the things that need to be done in my place, some of them require the height or the brawn of a man. Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves and start revoking our independence or taking back the sexual revolution or anything. But, seriously, there are some things that just require a man.

For example, I have tall ceilings. Connected to those are walls which need to be painted. I’m only 5’2” (on a good day). Even on my newly purchased 3-step ladder, I’m not going to reach anywhere near the top of the painting surface. So who, may I ask, is going to handle that? And let’s talk about the soon to be beautiful closet. In order to install it, someone’s going to have to hold the top shelf and brackets against the wall. Those suckers are heavy! Cue music for my own personal superman here.

Ah well, such is the life of a (short) female homeowner.

The Price of Fashion

I went to Home Depot, and I saw bliss. I saw everything that my closet should be, and more. There were shelves, rods, valet rods, belt racks, drawers, shoe shelves! Everything a fashionista like me could want to appropriately display the fabulousness that is her wardrobe. And it was soooooo much cheaper than California Closets – the platinum standard of all closets. I went home happy.

But then, I whipped out the calculator, and my nightmare began. Because Martha Stewart so slyly sells each component individually, there were a lot of numbers to add up. Plus, I would prefer to have all matching hangers, which is another expense (although I did just find some on clearance for $29.95 for 50 plus 15% off). Plus, I have to pay my professional organizer friend to put it all up. And that’s when the dark clouds began to form.

Despite all this expense (and the overall feeling that I’m just bleeding money right now), I really really want a nice closet. It was going to be the best part about owning this particular condo. I was going to trick out the closet like the fashion diva that I am. And doggone it, why can’t I?! Oh right. Because I don’t have fashion diva money. When I started this process, I decided the closet was a priority. I guess I will just have to suck up the sticker shock, and go ahead and start shelling out some cash. *sigh*. Donations will be accepted beginning immediately :).

Confessions of a New Home Owner

Well, I have spent the last 3 nights and 3 days in my new condo, and frankly, I am still baffled by the whole thing. I can’t believe that I actually own a home. I. Own. A. Condo. Say what?! How did this happen?

It was about 10 months ago, that I got the grand idea to start looking for a condo. I knew I wanted 2 bedrooms – I just didn’t see the point in purchasing a one bedroom. And I knew I had to have a parking space included, a washer/dryer in unit, and a dishwasher. I was going to live in LP, LV, or downtown. And, I wasn’t going to raise my monthly payment by an obnoxious amount. 10 months later, I am sitting in a penthouse unit in LS, with two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, and a ridiculously-huge-by-comparison kitchen. Not only do I have a parking spot, but that spot is in an attached garage. I, am in real estate heaven. Truly there is a God, and I am blessed.

But, I am also baffled. When I first got in (after much trials and tribulations) on Thursday night, my unit resembled a refugee camp. Now, it’s more nomad chic. I don’t have nearly enough furniture, and the walls are soooooo boring. But, it’s mine, all mine! Squee!

Now, down to business. How do homeowners decide what to deal with first? Honestly! I can’t stand the sinks in the bathrooms, the neutral cream whiles have got to go, the floors need to be sanded and refinished, I need an alarm system, I’d love to change the hardware on the kitchen cabinets, and, did I mention I need new furniture? No one told me that on top of standard repairs, I’d begin to see things that need changing which I didn’t see when I first made an offer. I mean seriously! All the changes that need to be made seriously require a rich benefactor. Anyone got any ideas on when I might get one of those?

Short of robbing a bank, I wonder where to start after the paint color? Thus began my journey…how do I prioritize the changes I want to make?

The Beginning, Delayed

After a complete fiasco in the financing arena (as in, the banker I hired failed to complete any of the tasks he was hired to do), I was finally ready to close. My side of the loan approval went through without a hitch, and I was ready to go a week earlier than anticipated. Naturally, that was far too easy. The underwriter wanted to know about the status of the condo association dues. And, of course, there were units who were behind. As a result, I couldn’t close. Excuse me while I panic. My loan is being held up because two people not at all related to me are unable to can’t pay their effen HOA dues on time. GRRR!!!

But, time is of the essence, as I have to be out of my apartment by June 30. Does that make the condo association president move any faster? Of course not. It’s not his problem, so evidently he fails to see the urgency of the situation. A fact that becomes all to clear when he sends an email ON THE DAY OF CLOSE that he won’t be able to get the appropriate paperwork showing proof of payment to my (new) banker until that afternoon. Is he kidding?! Nope, he sure isn’t. That means I can, make my down-payment, move all of my worldly possessions into the condo, but I can’t have any keys. Nice.

I proceed to be homeless for 7 days. Literally, I am sleeping on couches and moving around gigantic suitcases for 7 days, until the bank can see proof that the condo dues have been paid by the errant homeowners, and underwriting can sign off, and the seller can get his money. It’s Thursday night, around 9:30 before I get my keys…I meet the association president (AP), and he says that the banker was a complete pain in the arse. Is he kidding? Really?! We are not off to a good start as neighbors. There should be a way to interview the other homeowners in a condo, and the HOA leadership. I’m starting to feel apprehensive about living with such a dense donkey. But alas, after sleeping on a futon for 5 days, and travelling back and forth to Milwaukee for 2 days, and wearing the same shoes to work everyday for 4 days, I’m just glad to be inside my own place. Will it be worth all the trouble? Stay tuned…

Crickets and frogs and owls, oh my!

For Halloween, Kaia and I went to the Roof for the Black-i-Ball party. The party was pretty low-key, but still a good time. There was even a red carpet and a professional photographer! Can you believe that?!

Anyway, the party wasn't really blog-worthy, other than the fact that pheebee was hit on by a woman. What was noteworthy was the overnight stay in theWit hotel. theWit is a fantastic hotel -- by Doubletree, believe it or not! the rooms are lovely, the tiniest bit of a downgrade from Westin. Same great comfy feeling, just less luxury. I liked everything about it. Loved even! But, they have the WEIRDEST couple twists I've ever noticed.

First, the complimentary lotion was by Gilchrist. Not the first time I've seen this brand in a hotel. But, this was the first time I'd ever used a lotion that smelled like freshly cut grass. Grass! I can't say that I don't like the smell of grass. It's very summery and nice adn reminds you of an outdoor barbecue. But, why on earth would a person want to smell like it? Weird, but we can live with it. Besides, the scent is going to fade after a few minutes anyway.

And then, we went into the hallway. Excuse me, but why do I hear crickets? We are still in the heart of downtown, right? They have it piped in. Yeah, you read that right. Instead of crazy Musak, they have nature sounds piped into the hallways of the hotel. And it gets wilder. They have crickets and owls at night. And then, in the morning? Roosters, birds, and ocean waves. So, I say to Kaia, why are there roosters and ocean sounds? Where are there farms near oceans? She says "maybe in Pennsylvania. Never underestimate the Amish."

Oh geez. Dear hotel management. Please stop wasting the energy to pipe in ridiculous nature signs. It's ok if the hallways are quiet. Or, in the case of Halloween night, filled with the sounds of 4 d-bags dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tossing stuff about. (True story. I found out that's who they were when these d-bags woke up the next morning, loudly yelling the title of the theme song in a ridiculous staccato voice. I could hear it through the adjoining door. Awesome).

One or Two Good Drills

So, I'm watching the Packers game against the Vikings. We're at home today, and it's been nail biting so far. Not much has happened, it's just incredibly tense to see Benedict Favre return to Lambeau with a shockingly good Vikings.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ahem. Sorry, I was interrupted by awesomeness on the field. Hooray GB recovering a Favre turnover!

Anyway, as I was saying, the hype around this game has been huge, of course. But the best part was watching Favre walk out and get booed. And frankly, the booing was deafening. It was amazing. I imagine that had to hurt a little bit from Favre. Terry Bradshaw predicted that there would be more cheering than booing. Favre did spend 16 years in green and gold. Boy was Mr. Bradshaw wrong. Really wrong. I bet it hurt more than a little bit. Can you imagine coming "home" after all these years, after the Super Bowls, record breaking, blah blah blah, and receiving a pail full of venom?

I can't say it isn't what he deserved. Yes, the management in GB took a hardline stance. and they had their reasons. But, we all wished Favre well when he went to the Jets. But, he has just repeatedly thrown salt into the wound over the past year. First, to go to the Vikings. An arch rival!! And then, to not only go there, but to say that it's the best team he's played on. Whoever said that Favre didn't do it for revenge is lying. And by whoever, I mean Favre.

I sure hope they drill him!

More Wheeeeeeeeee!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I decided to take the plunge! On Sunday, I raised money and awareness for the Respiratory Health Association in a way that was a million times more exciting than a run/walk would ever be. The RHA of Metro Chicago hosted the Skyline Plunge! on Sunday. What is that you ask? It is the awesome feeling of plunging down the side of The Bolt of The Wit Hotel with only a polyester harness, metal hooks, and nylon ropes holding me suspended over 27 stories. I used a metal mechanism to lower myself down those 27 stories.

People asked me over and over if I was nuts, scared, crazy, senseless. Truth is, I am none of those things. I was just feeling adventurous, and it was for a good cause. Although, I can't say I was really doing it for altruism only. No, I was doing it for the thrill. Honestly? How many people can say they rappelled down the side of a building in a busy downtown area?

The actual feeling was quite tiring. You basically have to hold yourself upright. Another blogger described it as holding yourself in a perpetual sit-up. I'd add that your tummy is tight, but it's more like holding your self in a crunch -- so not only are you holding your upper half up, but your feet too. The other thing? You're supposed to be "walking" down the side of the building. Pah! Whoever said that was totally lying. My feet kept slipping, so eventually I just gave up and let myself dangle. I can't say I was a big fan of when I started spinning around, and slamming into the side of walls made of glass. The other thing? No one tells you how tired your hand gets! To lower yourself down, you have to squeeze this little mechanism. It really feels like those old school hand strengthening devices that men used to use to prove their strength.

Eventually, I got to the point where I just wanted to get down as fast as I could because my hand, back and inner thighs were starting to get really sore. That, and it was a bit repetitive after a while. There really wasn't much to look at up there. I bet the scenery is beautiful from a mountainside. But from theWit? Really just street, trees, and river. The Chicago Theatre sign looked REALLY cool though. Anyway, enjoy the pictures that follow!

Ad Nauseum

So, on Monday I saw an ad in the RedEye for a fundraiser for the Respiratory Health Association of Metropolitan Chicago. Instead of a run/walk, volunteers will be rappelling down the side of theWit Hotel!! How cool does that sound?! On Tuesday, I sent out an email to nearly everyone I know asking if they'd be willing to donate. On Tuesday night, I had insomnia so I signed up. On Wednesday, I started my big electronic push to get funds from friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, friends of family, co-workers of family, etc. I even posted a link and status updates about my efforts on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Now, I'm about 58% to goal, and I've got a ways to go. For the record, I will have to cover any difference between what I raise and what is the goal. Which, I must say, is an excellent motivator. But now? Even I am sick of hearing myself talk about it! I've managed to slip it into so many conversations I'm starting to think I'm playing a perpetual game of 6 degrees of RHAMC (get it? Instead of Kevin Bacon?).

I'm almost done though. I go over the edge of theWit in 2 days. The irony here is that I've now managed to put it on yet another crazy. Ha ha!

Revenge of the broke

Today I went to look at a townhome for sale. It's up for short sale, and it was the very first piece of real estate that I went to look at with actual potential for purchase! Usually I'm just tooling around my neighborhood looking at places that I'd buy if I had oodles upon oodles of money. Anyway, I was really excited because the pictures on the MLS website made it look really awesome. Of course, being the cynic that I am, I was expecting the pictures to be total glamour shots, and that they'd oversell the place.

Nothing could prepare me for what I saw though! Ok, I've heard before that homes in foreclosure are often in terrible condition, because people are saddened by the fact that they've been evicted out of something they own. But this was ridiculous! Apparently, the trashing rule also applies to those homes that are under short sale. Ok, so we went after work. Obviously, it was going to be dark. Well, the people who used to live there were kind enough to leave lightbulbs only in the bathrooms. Seriously! They stole nearly all of the lightbulbs! They also took some of the light fixtures too.

What they did leave behind was portions of a sectional, piled in a corner. Some cleaning supplies that were obviously not actually used on the unit. Dust bunnies, nasty stains on the carpet, and a pencil. All I can say is, ewwwwwwwwwwww.

It's really sad too, that of the three places I checked out, this is the one that had the most potential. Ack! Quick, I need a couple hundred grand -- clearly I need more buying power.

Rush in NFL

I know I'm late to the discussion party, but I also know that all of you were dying to know just what I was thinking too. (HA!)

So, Mr. Rush Limbaugh wanted to buy a piece of the St. Louis Rams. Frankly, I think he should've gone ahead with it; or more accurately, I think his partners shouldn't have kicked him out. I would have love to have seen the fall out. Players requesting releases, free agents refusing to sign with St. Louis, the organization having to payout extraordinary sums of money to get players to stay or sign. The entire organization financially brought to its knees. Followed by the boycott of the games by fans (because the Rams begin to suck AND on principle). And Rush Limbaugh losing all of his money.

Here's what's sad, I don't think it actually would have gone down that way. I think some of it would've happened. But, I'm betting that everyone has their price -- and a lot of players would have gone to St. Louis just to be in the league. And I don't think all the hype would've had much of an effect on people who just wanted to watch a game. Sure, I think there would have been some sort of outcry/repercussion. But, I don't think that the attention span of the American people is good enough to really sustain a movement against an NFL team past the immediate season.

So, good work to the partners that kicked Rush out. I guess my real question is, what were they thinking when they put him in? You couldn't find anyone else with a couple mill to toss around!?

French Women Don't Get Fat -- PAH!

Well, I've been to paradise and back. I spent 3 days in the French and Dutch West Indies. Aside from the fabulous weather (a few minor rain sneezes, but otherwise great) there was a ridiculous amount of extraordinarily rich food. I ate two full French meals. Plus, I had a lovely catered dinner at the hotel. I for sure gained 10 pounds in those three days. I don't know how French and West Indies women don't get fat, but I'd die for their secret!!!

Now, aside from the extraordinarily rich food, I also marveled at the fabulosity of the hotel. And by calling it a hotel I am underselling the Dawn Beach Resort and Spa. A Westin owned resort, this place was every bit the tiny piece of heaven Westin advertises it to be. I must have taken 7 pictures of my room alone -- and I was in one of the less desirable rooms! I had a hallway in my room...a hallway! Then, off to the left, a nice sized closet with a cleverly placed switch that turned on a light whenever you opened the door. To the right, a bathroom bigger than my current bedroom. Big enough to have a separate glass enclosed shower and a huge bathtub.

Then, the bedroom, with a big flat-screen tv, a king-sized bed, a lounge chair, and a desk. And yes, bigger than my living room. And, the sliding glass door opened onto a balcony, large enough to hold two chairs and a wooden coffee table. It was fantastic!

The thought I had to myself as I was falling asleep my first night there? "I don't care where I go on my honeymoon, as long as I stay in a Westin Resort."

To top it off, I met my new married friend! She doesn't have a nickname yet. But, she is fabulous! She is for sure one of the most put together people I've ever met. And, she's got an extraordinary husband too. (At least, the way she tells it).

New Year's in October

It was a lot like New Year's Eve. I spent way too much money to go to a bar that normally doesn't have a cover charge. I was wearing a pair of extraordinarily uncomfortable shoes (that were fabulous!!!). And I wore a fantastic party dress that I purchased for no apparent reason 6 months ago but worked out splendidly for the event. It wasn't nearly as fun as it was hyped up to be. But, all in all, I would've been really mad if I hadn't gone.

And that, is my very accurate description of my 10 year high school reunion. Honestly? It was soooo not worth the $65 I paid. And, frankly, the reason it wasn't worth it probably had something to do with poor planning. However, I know I definitely would've regretted it if I hadn't gone.

In high school, I wasn't very popular (or awesome). The popular girls generally didn't give me the time of day. (These were the same girls that were too cool for school in elementary and middle school). As you can imagine, I was soooooooooooo ready to have my big (HAHA B*****S!!!!). I definitely didn't get that opportunity. None of those girls were there. Some of the nicer popular girls were there, but they were all kinds of hugs and kisses. It was weird. Even weirder, one of the girls that I was pretty good friends with in high school gave me (and the rest of us) the cold shoulder! Say what!?!? Hilariously, she's teaching theatre, speech and English classes now, and had truly turned into the crazy dramatic theater teacher. Seriously, the transformation was crazy. Picture one of your good friends suddenly morphing into that hippie teacher in high school. For the most part though, nothing truly outrageous occurred.

So, I didn't get my big HA moment, but I got to see a ton of people that I actually liked throughout high school and see what they were up to. And up to they were! One guy had toured with Prince, and another girl was a diplomat for the U.S.!! Unbelievable right? But most surprising were the number of girls who were married and/or with children. That was MIND BOGGLING! Can you imagine being married right now? Don't get me wrong, I would totally rock an engagement ring. And I am so amped for the cake and party. But to actually see the same person over and over again, everyday, and commit to love and cherish them for all of eternity? Good-ness. I am shuddering on the inside. Hmm...having recently read over older posts, it would appear that I'm totally over my desperate attempt to get into a relationship (for now).

The Glorious Return of Pheebee

I've had a lot of snide comments pass between my ears. Many of them made their way to my Facebook page. Those were mainly witty quips that could get done in 5 sentences or less. However, some things just require a full page of prose, and that's where the return of pheebee comes in. Yes friends, I'm back -- and hopefully with a vengeance.

Since most of you keep up with me by phone and email, there's no need for a serious review of what's happened in the last 3 months. But, for those of you just joining the party -- and those that need a refresher course, I figured I'd re-visit the characters that make a regular appearance in my book:

Married Martamack, aka MMM, aka Brother. An on again off again unsolicited older sibling who was invited on to the island after we met at my first job (also known as Dante's Inferno). Was kicked off the island a while later for being less supportive and more negative (and for accusing me of interfering in his marriage. An unfounded accusation at that). Has been given a passport for short-term visits, as he's keeping his negativity to himself and is otherwise able to give pretty decent advice (whether or not it's actually solicited).

Kaia. Ride or die girlfriend. A hero for actually having the guts to leave a crappy boring law job to pursue dream of being a famous actress. Also a former regular, now sporadic, partner in crime when out flirting with boys and trying to get free beverages.

The Cashmere Mafia, aka the Mafia. A group of fantastic ladies, mostly of color, with whom I used to kill every Tuesday at Martini Park. The group consisted of lots of chicas, but the main characters were Big Sis (also from my last job), Kaia, and an interior designer whom I don't think ever got a moniker. Our regularly scheduled meetings ended shortly after the big bash Halloween party.

The Young Titan, aka The Titan. A guy I met last football season, shortly before the holidays. Pretty guy, my own real life Calvin Klein model. I had to cut off all communication for about 3 months because I was sick of "just kicking it." As no one will be surprised to here, we're speaking again. My tolerance fluctuates with each passing day, but the peanut gallery seems to think I should give him a chance.

The Engineer. No introduction necessary. A guy with tons of qualities that I love living in perfect harmony in a tall, lithe frame. Said frame is unfortunately employed and living in Seattle.

2DP. Oldest and dearest friend from back home. First guy to turn me down, and I have no intention of letting him forget it. Also best friend and roomie of an ex-boyf of mine. Usually responsible for pervy remarks and overall silliness that keeps pheebee grounded and entertained.

I'm sure there are a bunch that I'm forgetting, but we'll reintroduce them as we go along. Stay tuned for future shenanigans!

Complaints Department

Current Complaints:
1. my job
2. my love life
3. my social life
4. the h'ing penguin
5. the titan
6. the shape i'm in

I don't understand, and if you do, please fill me in -- when, exactly did complaining about something automatically mean you aren't grateful about it? For example, today I was complaining (albeit publicly) about being unhappy at my job. For the most part, I got a lot of support from people in the same or similar positions. One person, (see complaint #4) was extremely vocal in saying that I should be the happiest person in the world but I'm not, blah blah blah I should count my blessings.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me! I was having a bad day at work, and I've been questioning my career choice for several months now. Excuse me for not dropping to my knees and being eternally grateful for being unemployed every waking second of every single day. Does the fact that I'm not entirely certain that I love my job -- or even my field, for that matter -- mean that I'm not grateful and full of praise to the Almighty because I am gainfully employed in a position that keeps me in my cute little loft apartment and fantastic shoes? Ugh, nothing like a little righteous self-indignation to set a girl's teeth on edge.

That being said, I can tie this all in to the more entertaining subject of my love life. Basically, aforementioned penguin keeps making random stabs at "trying to get to know" me. Whatever. Each time I talk to him I find my hackles raised. Sort of like walking in the sand with shoes and socks. No matter what you do, you'll keep picking granules of sand out of your shoes. SO ANNOYING! This last gratefulness comment just makes me want to throw him off a bridge...or at least off my island. The definitive answer is absolutely no!

Sniff, Sniff

I smell. In fact, I totally reek. I find myself in unfamiliar territory. I want, desperately want, to be in a relationship. I think I may even want one for the right reasons. Now that, my friends, is exceptionally weird. Most often, I don't want a relationship at all. If the time comes when I want one, then normally I want one out of boredom, or because it's winter and I want someone to snuggle with, or just to pass the time because my friends are all in relationships. While some of that is true, I can't really say that's the true motivation.

No, lately (probably the last month or so), I've been wanting a relationship for all the right reasons. Because I want to have that special someone. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (pun intended) to figure out that my craving for a relationship strictly coincides with the time I've spent with the Engineer.

The second most unfortunate thing, (the first being the Engineer living across the country) is that when the whiff of desperation is on you, a relationship is sure NOT to come. Sooooooooo, what are we gonna do? Well nothing, this feeling has always passed before, it'll be a passing feeling again.

And one other thing? Desperation or no, my standards haven't gone anywhere. And quite honestly, I have yet to find someone I care to spend more than 45 seconds with.