25 is a big number

I have a friend who sent around an email of a new year's suggestion. What she suggests is making a list of 25 accomplishments for the year and 25 goals for the year. It's the same premise of writing new year's resolutions, but far more involved and introspective. So far, I have one of each written. Accomplishment #1: not cursing anybody out at work, even though they clearly deserved it. Goal #1: raising my salary to it's former level either via a raise or via commission.

And that's all I have so far. 25 is such a big number! I mean, obviously, I'll have weight goals and weight accomplishments, because I constantly obsess over my size. But other than that??! No idea. Ok, that's not entirely true. I have an idea. But where am I supposed to come up with 25 goals and accomplishments? I'm not even sure which is more difficult. Probably accomplishments. I've heard that a lot of women have trouble tooting their own horn. I am not one of these women. i am quite capable of mentioning my fabulousness. But, I do have trouble being proud of things that should just be. For example. I make my bed everyday, and generally keep my house neat. It's always a goal of mine to do that; but it's really hard to consider that an accomplishment. I'm supposed to keep my house neat! That's why there's a gazillion cleaning products on the market. No credit for what you're s'posed to do anyway. At least, I don't think so. Hmmmm. Maybe my next goal should be giving myself credit even if the thing I'm doing seems minor. Does that count?!

Joys of the Season

Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la laaaaaaa la la la la! I haven't been this cheerful since I first found out that I was laid off. Hooray unemployment! Ok, obviously being unemployed is not awesome. But being unemployed with the knowledge that you have a new job lined up is awesome! For the next five weeks, I will be sitting upside down on my couch loving the fact that I don't have to go to work. What will you be doing?!

One of the mafia members told me that when everything gets turned upside down, that's God opening doors and windows in your life to allow great things to happen. For me, it was getting laid off. It was all part of my grandmaster plan...or at least, the plan I was hoping that would happen. First I'd have to get laid off (check). And then I'd get a severance package (check). And then I'd find a new job (check). Which paid me way more than my former job (...). Ok, so 3 out of 4 not bad. Especially given the current economy.

I got a surprise when my life was flipped. That surprise was the young titan. He's turning out to be quite a pleasant addition to the island. Sure, there are things that I'm not so big on. Like that whole Super Hater situation. And the fact that he is more than a foot taller than me. Seriously, when someone is 15-17 inches taller than you, that's pure comedy. Sometimes I get a crick in my neck talking to him. But, neither of those are good reasons to kick him off the island. Or even send him in front of the panel.

Anyway, life is good, and I am filled with joy and sunshine and rainbows. Hooray now!

Swag Bag

I've been known to refer to various guys as pretty handbags. Most notably the Ninja and Snowflake. Basically, these are men who I could take anywhere, just like a pretty handbag. They looked good, go everywhere, and hold money. (I added the hold money part mostly for sheer entertainment value).

Anyway, when I first met the Young Titan, I thought he was a pretty handbag. When I met him, he was wearing sweatpants and a Titans jersey. He seemed a bit dim, and I wasn't sure we had anything in common. But, quite honestly, I didn't care. He was fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. I assumed he'd be nice to have around temporarily, but it wouldn't likely lead anywhere.

Well, he's proven to be a handbag filled with goodies. (Although money isn't necessarily one of the goodies). He has proven to be a meathead, but the kind of meathead that reads about it first. And he is constantly surprising me with things he knows. And he's been quite perceptive about various things too. I find myself talking to him for super long periods of time. All that and he is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Given the total package-ness of Mr. Young Titan, I find myself worried for myself. I'm guessing that he is going to get away with all kinds of things, just because of everything he brings to the table. He told me the other day that he couldn't believe my Ex broke it off. Quite frankly, I can't figure out why anyone would ever break up with him either. Note to self, ask him what that woman said she was thinking. Hmm, could the Young Titan be the antidote to the Engineer?

Super Hater

As a general rule, I don't deal with haters in my dating life. Which is why I was so blindsided by the Super Hater a couple weeks ago. Here's what happened:

The Young Titan and I met up to watch some football at a local bar. He arrived about an hour earlier than I did, because I was a domestic-errand machine. I was supposed to get there by 2nd quarter, which I did. When I got there, he told me that he saw a girl from the gym, and she was going to stop over and say hi. So, I'm totally cool with this, and plus, he said she was really fit -- so I wanted to see how fit and possibly ask her how she did it. (I never got around to asking).

Anyway, when she stopped by, she did have a nice body, but nothing to be intimidated about. And she had a short Rihanna haircut. For the most part, I paid her no mind. I was busy watching my boys start strong (and ultimately lose, but that's par for the course this season). She stayed and talked for a while. I can say that I wasn't really listening. She left for a minute, and then came back. When she came back, she sat down and picked up his phone. He has the iPhone, so totally normal. In exchange, he picked up her phone. Which is exactly what happened when I picked up his phone. She went ahead and started looking through his photos. And kept showing me pictures of his ex. Gee thanks. When she got up again, he had gone to the bar or washroom or something. She says to me "he thinks he's slick, putting his number in my phone. He doesn't know I've been doing that since I was 15." So I'm like, jigga what? Excuse me, we're not exclusive at all, but can you not get your mack on in front of me?

So, she leaves again. And comes back. I notice that everytime she comes around, he stops being all over me. Which, if she hadn't said what she said, I would've thought was nice because no one wants to feel like a third wheel. But she did say it, so I started to think that he was being sketchy.

Later on, after one of her leave and come back cycles, they begin arguing about the Young Titan's height. She doesn't believe that he's actually 6'5". She tells him to stand up and close his eyes, which he does. She proceeds to pretend to kiss his nipples. I am stunned.

But wait, there's more. She, once again, leaves and comes back. The Titan and I make plans to meet up in about 45 minutes. When she gets back, we're putting on our coats. She turns to him and asks "are you dropping her off?" I'm like what? Then I see her lean in and say something and pull on his sweatpants. Then she turned to me and says "We're watching t.v. later, and I told him it's not a hookup so he doesn't have to change clothes."

At this point, I'm figuring out that she's a Super Hater, and he is not sketchy. At least, I don't think he is. As we leave the bar, he tells me that he has no idea what she says. I repeat what she says to me, and a look of confusion clouds his face. He says, "I have plans with you! And if you didn't want to do anything, then I'm going home to play Madden." Super Hater strikes again!

Slight sketchiness did occur later in the night. We were supposed to meet up about 30 minutes later, but I don't hear from him for about 90 minutes. He says he couldn't find his phone. Which I find odd. But, given that he has a track record of reliability, I let it go. And agree to meet up with him, if for no other reason than to block the Super Hater.

I kind of hope that I run into her again. So I can totally snub her. How awesome would that be?!

Update

I admit it, I've fallen off the blogosphere. But here I am to officially catch you up. A lot has gone down, which is why I've totally failed to write about it. So, here goes:

First, I got laid off, we found out on November 14. I must say, it was not an awesome process. Half of our office was laid off that day; and they did it one by one. It was brutal. I was second to last. It was pretty terrible and depressing. Anyway, my last day is December 19. Honestly? We all know how I felt about this job. And we all knew that the best case scenario would be for me to get laid off and/or fired, and then get a severance package, and look for a job while they pay me. So, hooray parts a and b of the grandmaster plan going through.

Second, I interviewed with a great firm twice prior to the layoff. And then they went out of the country without giving me a job. And so I was a teensy bit panicked, but not really. First, as we all know, I stand by faith. I'm not gonna lie, it got uber hard sometimes. Second, the interviews that I had went very well. So, when they got back from Romania, they wanted to see me for a third time, but it took them FOREVER to schedule that time. I finally had that third interview, and they offered me a job. Hooray! I haven't accepted yet, because I want to make a counteroffer -- but even if they reject my counteroffer, I think we all know that I'll be taking what they've offered. I mean really? It's more of what I want to do, it's a great place, and I like the people. So let's not be silly.

Third, there's a new guy on the island. Remember the young titan? I wasn't sure he'd last very long, but he's hanging around the island. At first, I thought he was totally lying about his background (former player for a SEC school, former player in an international league, etc.). Although none of that has been verified, he hasn't stumbled as though lying. So although I have no proof, I don't have any proof that he's lying either. He has officially earned the benefit of the doubt. Then i thought maybe he wasn't the crispest dollar in the billfold. I was wrong about that too. I think the reason I thought he was a step behind was because I forget how quickly I change subjects on a person. It can be disconcerting if you don't know me very well. Now that it's been a few weeks, I think he's getting used to my synaptic misfires. Oh, and did I mention he is possibly the most gorgeous man I've ever dated?

Fourth, the Engineer is making another trip to the great Midwest. His company needs him to go to Cincinnati, and so he's going to have a layover here in the Chi. Good times. That should happen next week. Much to the chagrin of my mother, who wanted him to be around on NYE. Well, in his defense, he's choosing to come when someone else is buying the ticket. I can't say that I blame him for that.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I tried out for another dance team a couple weeks ago. Once again, I made it to finals. Once again, the veterans thought I worked it. Once again, I couldn't take it all the way. This time, I got the opportunity to ask why. Do you know what the answer was? I wasn't cheerleaderish enough. Seriously? Not cheerleaderish enough? What does that even mean? Oh well. It was fun for that week. I was not at all bummed about it, I gotta say. It was going to be a colossal pain in the neck for me to get to practice twice a week. They practiced and performed in a suburb about 45 min away. Twice a week for practice plus a game? Goo, that'd be a whole lot of time in my car for 4 minutes of glory.