Fall Fashion Week

And so, Fall Fashion Week was a few weeks ago in Paris. (For those amateurs with us, that's the week designers show Fall fashions, not a confused expression of what season it actually is). Here's the update:

Curvy Girls continue to rejoice! Wide leg pants will be with us for yet another season. Buy them up while you can because goodness knows that they may be but a fleeting dream. As you should know by now, the wide leg pants should NOT be paired with big, wide, flowy tops. Keep it fitted girls. Show that purty rack of yours. (ha! I'm so politically incorrect).

Not as joyfully, we have another season with those spawn of Satan skinny pants. In spite of living with them for 2 seasons now, I still have no idea who is meant to be wearing these pants. Sadly, many a women continue to attempt and fail. But, if you happen to be toothpicked sized, then I have a question and a piece of advice. Question -- why are you reading this blog? Advice -- pair it with the tunic, or the wide flowy top. Goodness knows you need something to fake a figure.

I've starting paying more attention to dresses, now that I have officially decided to become a more "girly" girl. And, there are a few new styles to be introduced. First, the shirtdress. Generally, it's a button down dress with a full-flowing nature. Unfortunately, this appears to be a style that can go very very right OR very very wrong. This is actually a spring style, but just an FYI for you. :)

Belts are going to be hot again for the season. This is likely to cause a shopping fetish for me, the way it did circa 2k1 when the fringe belts were in and I ended up with half a dozen too many. This season we're looking for wide, waist-cinching belts. Look for patents, bright colors, generally any funky belt that will bring attention to your fabulously narrowed waist. (Even if you had to fake that waist, a feat infinitely easier thanks to the wide belt).

As for color, I'm seeing purples and blues. Hooray for the cool tones, making you an even cooler chick. Speaking of being too cool for school, don't forget your fab sunglasses. Apparently, they are one of the "it" accessories for fall. It's a good thing, because that darn ozone layer isn't getting any thicker.

Basically, we're seeing a fall season that doesn't fix what ain't broke (skinny pants notwithstanding). Buy now and wear later, because it's probably on sale right now. And if you're like me, and the pants are (finally) starting to fit, then buy often. The wide trend may fade, but well fitting trousers are always in style.

Hormonally Challenged

Ok, PMS is a long-standing butt of many - a - jokes. I've been blessed that as a normal course of business I don't suffer from PMS. Now is not one of those times. This year is the first time I've ever suffered such horrible horrible fate. Now I know why it's so hysterical to watch. I have watched myself (in horror) as I was unable to control my own emotions. Mood swings for no apparent reason is not such a hot time. Plus the low periods and the spikes of happiness, boy-craziness, munchies and self-esteem is really quite taxing. Not to mention tiring. I've had little desire to do much other than sleep.

Frankly, I think it's nothing a good box of cookies and caramel corn couldn't cure. Hear that out there? Get on Harry and David's catalogue and start ordering! I'm not seeing any point and clicking. Darn it. Why are all my friends, family and co-workers of family broke or not the present sending type? Hmm, I guess this is why everyone told me to get my own job. :)

Generation Gap

So, the SiQ and I have been mutually commiserating about being single gals with no prospects. Something the people living in our parents' generation don't seem to understand is that our generation is all about getting laid. Although everyone isn't easy, everyone does expect to go all the way sometime before the deep and meaningful relationship begins. In fact, the new generation is all about fulfilling the total body of a relationship. Thus, when you are on board the abstinence train, finding a significant other is significantly more difficult. Apparently, there's a vibe you give off. The SiQ has been told that she's the marrying type, while standing in a bar. And normally, that's a compliment; but for the fact that said guy is not looking for a wife. He's looking for a do it in the Burger King bathroom type.

Before I decided to hi-jack the SiQ story, there was something else I meant to blog about. Another single gal problem, which is the phantom hot guy. I see him all the time. Have you? You're walking/standing/riding about, minding your own business, and you see this uber-hot guy. And then you turn around, and he's gone. Where'd he go? You didn't get a chance to wink at him! He didn't even look your way. Dang it. He's gone. Guess that virtuous vibe scared him off. And before you say it, yes this can happen at church. Know why? Because church guys are either creepy weirdos or trying to get laid (or both, as it happens). That's right. They're no different than your average joe on the street. Sad isn't it?

D'ah well. You can always go back to your ninja ex can't you? So what if he drives you to drinking? What's alcoholism in the face of getting some on a regular basis?

Flowers & Love

So, today there were many many women toting flowers home from the office. And I gotta say, I was impressed. I love surprises, and I love flowers arriving at the office. Valentine's Day is the perfect day for me. Or it would be if I had a man.

But this is not a post to whine about how sad Valentine's Day is when you're single. In fact, there were tons and tons of single-friendly options around town. I didn't do any of that though. Instead, I watched a chick-flick while sitting on my fabulous couch. 2 women at my office got a dozen red roses, and they were really pretty. But they were nothing compared to the bouquet I saw on the train today. A guy was carrying a huge bouquet filled with lilies, baby's breath, roses, violets, and anything else you'd expect to see on the front page of a bouquet catalogue. They were GORGEOUS. Oh wait, I didn't mean to be gushing.

Anyway, aside from my movie, I didn't do much else. The thing is, I've never actually been dating someone over Valentine's Day. And therefore, it's never really bothered me that I don't get to do anything. So, the moral of this post is, is to get off your duff and do something fun for yourself -- or nothing at all. Just quit yer bitchin'. And don't forget to hit up the sale chocolate at Kmart. :)

On a related note, the young'n called and txt'd me last night. I didn't bother to answer the phone. But it was interesting. I hadn't heard from him in quite some time. Wonder what he wanted? Hmm...

A Floral Post

These are purty, even if they don't look like what we ordered.

Eewwwwwwwww

So, when I woke up this morning, I thought I'd have a regular average day. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I woke up, got dressed, and left for work. Upon arriving at the platform, I missed the first train because it was so crowded. So, I was standing around on the platform, looking around at how crowded it was. And what I saw was horrifying....I saw a perfect stranger with his pants and underwear down around his knees. That's right, full frontal nudity from the waist down. Gross.

eL Hussy

So, I had yet another torrid affair today. It was even shorter lived than the one yesterday. This time, I saw a guy at the stop. Actually, I've seen him before on the very stop. Both times that I've seen him, he's had on very nice shoes and very stylish pants. However, he also had on a 'do-rag under his backwards-turned cap. That part, I was not big on. Anyway, I noticed him, and that was it....or so I thought. He got on, but he ended up looking back just after the doors closed; and winked! I smiled, and waved as they pulled off. Honestly, I blushed because I'm pretty sure he noticed me noticing him. Hmm. I wonder if he recognized me from before too? Anyway, thus ended my 2nd torrid love affair in as many days.

I also had a very profound lesson of the day. Unfortunately, I have discovered that I am a clotheshorse. And not even a covert clotheshorse. Sadly, I have been working for just under a month, and I already have the reputation of being quite the shopper and having tons of clothes. Ironically, I haven't bought all that much by way of clothes since I started working. And, I've definitely already repeated an outfit or two, because I don't yet own that many suits. With this in mind, I was definitely protesting my reputation at the office. However, I've been forced to re-evaluate, because I noticed myself observing the coats of several women. I already own a couple coats. Do I need another coat? Of course not! But I still nearly resolved to start looking for one. Nuts.

OK I get it!

Alright, alright. All (3) of my faithful readers have admonished me for not blogging often enough. So, here is your official update of my life.

I have moved to a new state and a new city. In that vein, I have had good times decorating my fabulous (and overpriced) apartment. Grant it, the apartment is in the price range of the rest of the neighborhood, but it's still quite the sticker shock when you're coming from student housing.

Anyway, since my last entry, I have divorced my backup husband, broke up with my IM boyfriend, and had a torrid (yet short) love affair. Here are the details ~

Backup husband: The engineer and I began tentatively talking again. And he offered to be my backup husband in 7 years. I don't remember accepting his offer, given our differing opinions on children (me: opposed, him: for). But anyway, we've since gotten a divorce because his current g/f (yes, the very same one) made him break up with me. He literally told me we couldn't talk anymore after I sent him a very risque txt. Ok, it wasn't risque. It said "I hate traffic". And it was in lieu of a phone call I was supposed to return the day before. And I don't actually have proof it was the g/f's fault. I mean, maybe he was insulted that I didn't take him up on his offer to fly in to my city and be my booty call. D'ah well. I guess I'll never know. Since he made the decision to divorce me, I can't very well be expected to be bothered with finding out why. I've got better things to do...such as dump my IM boyfriend.

As you may or may not know, I was deeply involved with my IM boyfriend. But alas, this weekend, when reality nearly collided with IM-ity, we were forced to end it. Ok, we all know we're getting back together because I want him to take me to the alumni banquet. But for now, we're broken up and I'm shopping for a new IM man.

My torrid love affair happened just earlier today. I boarded the local public transportation at the same time as the love of my life. I looked at him, he looked at me. And for the next 10 minutes, we were giving each other side eye. And by this, I mean I looked at him out of the corner of my eye for the entire ride. Then my stop came up, and thus ended our love affair. Sad isn't it?

There may be a prospect at my local bank. I'm wondering if I should approach him or not though, because he gave me his number rather than asking for mine. I read in a book (he's just not that into you) that usually a guy who does this is just being lazy. It's been a week today. Wonder if there's a statute of limitations on how long you can wait to call? Hmm..

Ok, I hope this satisfies my blogging requirement. I'll try to do better. But I've been busy turning my apt into a home rather than a refugee camp. Give a girl a break why don't you?!