Thursday, May 24, 2007

Mother Nature's Last Laugh

As we all know, there are excellent benefits to having a pet. I've always been a cat person myself (propelling me even further into old-maid status). But I've recently taken up a liking to dogs. But, sadly, it is not meant to be. For, I developped allergies in my freshman year, and I am allergic to both. And then, to cement my fate, I moved into an apartment that doesn't allow pets.

I guess these are obstacles that could be overcome. I think my landlord just used a standard form lease, and I could probably talk them into letting me have a cat. And, I know people with allergies to pets generally, who aren't allergic to their own pets. But, I don't think it is to be. Honestly, I couldn't live with the wheezing in my own house. *sigh*. Hmmm. Any leads on a hypoallergenic pet (that's pet-able and fun)?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Happy Birthday pheebee

I felt that I should write something profound, or exciting today. But I've got neither. Perhaps that's a commentary in and of itself. Don't know what that comment could be, but, what're you gonna do?

I'm going to a going away party for a friend of a friend tomorrow. Maybe something exciting will happen then.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Starter Marriage

I met my friend Chrissy's neighbor last night. And, we were discussing marriage for some reason. I forget how we got on the subject (oh wait, I remember, I was telling Chrissy about the ninja pic episode - and determining whether I was shallow enough to do something about it [no, I'm not]). Anyway he told me his master plan, which I found hilarious.

Basically, it goes like this. His first wife is going to be the mother of his children. His second wife is going to be eyecandy, a trophy wife. His third wife is going to be his soulmate for his golden years.

Study after study has shown that people are living longer and longer. And as a consequence people move more often, people are switching careers more often, etc. So, is it cynical to assume your marriage is going to end? Everything else seems as though it's ending earlier these days. Although, really what's happening, I think, is that careers and homes are lasting just as long as they always did, it's just that people have time left over. Therefore, they go ahead and find a new home, a new career, whatever.

Here's the other thing. How can he assume that he'll find 3 women that want to marry him? I'm not saying he's unattractive or unpleasant or anything like that. But how is it possible, that he can assume there will be 3 available women that he wants; when many women I know are having difficulties finding 1 man. Oof. Statistics are a sonuvagun aren't they?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Flora and Fauna

You know what I love? Flowers. So, I've made the executive decision to send myself some for my impending birthday. What I can't decide is what kind to send, or where to send them to. Ideally, I'd like some at home and some at the office. But I can't be bothered with spending all that cash, when I have an illegitimate shopping habit to feed. I imagine the most economical thing to do would be to just get up and go buy some, and put them in a vase. And then, I'll hint to people to send them to my office. And by people, I mean my parents, since they're really the only people interested in sending me flowers.

Although, to be fair, the SiQ did send me a rather fabulous tshirt that says "I'm Tight Like Spandex". HAHAHAHAHA. That shirt will def. be making an appearance when I go out -- although I'd better be careful where I wear it. I don't want people getting the idea that it's ok to wear spandex out in public when not working out. Maybe I'll just carry around a fashion disclaimer: "This shirt is for comic value, not fashion tips". :)

Friday, May 18, 2007

Last Time I do that

Ok islanders. You are officially off the relationship expert panel. I'm not taking any of y'all's advice anymore. As you know, I attempted to cut off 'bux boyf. As you also know, he was none too happy about being dismissed. But you all convinced me this was the proper course of action. Well allow me to disabuse you of that notion.

As you know, I told him I just wasn't feeling him, yada yada yada. So, I continue to talk to him here and there, offering the obligatory olive branch of friendship (note: HIS idea). You know how that's going? Miserably! I can't even stand to chat it up for 10 minutes or less anymore. The last few times we've talked, he's given me a guilt-trip. As in, "well, before you did what you did, I was going to give you a free drink coupon." And so on. Gah! I mean seriously. Man up already! I'm pretty sure I'm off the hook for talking to him...but how can I ever go to that Starbucks again? I have no desire to endure the stupid puppy dog eyes and pouting. *Sigh* I am beyond done with the young bucks.

In semi-related news, the ninja and I are on the speaking side of the pendulum that is our post-break-up relationship. Naturally, he and his g/f are having difficulties -- or so he says. Anyway, I was forced to reconsider the ending of our relationship. He sent me a cell phone pic of his sexy sexy abs. Knowing full well that I am like Pavlov's dogs when it comes to abs. (Grant it, he's always had a nice body, but dang it if he didn't put on about 20 lbs of muscle). Remind me, why did we break up again? Oh right, because of his inability to return phone calls. But....after all that hard work in the gym, shouldn't he be rewarded with the privilege of my company? Moreover, am I really that shallow?

Monday, May 14, 2007

True Calling

Like most of my contemporaries, I am wondering if I picked the right professional path. Frankly, if I thought I could keep myself in the lifestyle to which I intend to become accustomed, I'd definitely be doing something other than insurance defense. Mostly because insurance defense is not nearly as exciting as you think.

So what would I do instead? Well, what are the things I heart dearly? I heart talking about fashion and dancing. So really, I should be either a dance costume designer, OR a fashionista tango dancer. Unfortunately, I don't see either of these happening....so, law it is. Bah!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mothers Day

Happy Mother's Day pheebee's mom! Today was a classic Hallmark holiday, and my mom totally milked it for all it was worth. For the last few years, I've been allowed to give a simple card, sometimes flowers, but generally that's it. This weekend, however, pheebee's mom celebrated in style. There was breakfast after church on Sunday; then there was viewing the musical Chicago on Saturday, and shopping on Friday. It was good times had by all this weekend.

My mom is an excellent shopping buddy -- except when she's left to her own devices. However, she's not shy about telling you that something makes you look fat. In fact, sometimes she does it without anyone actually asking for her opinion. (And you wondered where I got that from).

Anyway, as I was saying, we were shopping on Friday, and we made a stop at Ann Taylor Loft, which may be my new official fave store (for work clothes). Ann Taylor Loft (n.k.a. ATL -- the good kind) must participate in vanity sizing. Have you heard about this? Stores and brands the fashion-world-over have taken to re-sizing their clothes, so women believe that they now wear a full size smaller. Women are so easily flattered -- they believe this even though they haven't seen the inside of the gym since those first 2 weeks of free membership.

Why do they do this, you ask? Because they can, and because it works! I can't tell you how many articles of clothing I've purchased because they were a full size smaller. (Yes, I am just that vain. Any inhabitant of the island should know this by now).

Aside from a fabulous purchase, (thanks to vanity sizing), I also met a fabulous sales associate, JanHan, and official new island inhabitant. Aside from having excellent taste in shoes and bags, she's a handbag designer. Now, I checked out the site where her handbags are sold, and I am giving it the pheebee endorsement. (I feel so cool for knowing a real designer -- other than the ninja). For those who are more into handbags than I, I recommend you proceed to this site (www.fashionflat.com) immediately. And I'm not just saying that, because, frankly, I'm not that nice. (Another fact island inhabitants probably already know). I particularly enjoy the striped shopper, but that's just me. You form your own opinions :). And no, there's no island discount. Cheapskates.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Pimpin' ain't easy

Ok, so I attempted to break it off with 'bux boyf today. I think I was unsuccessful. Here's the problem:

So, I bite the bullet, and tell him that I don't think it's going to work. The reasons I give is because it's been too hard to connect, and I don't think we have anything in common. We discuss this for about 20 minutes. He gives a few rebuttals, none of which I find convincing. But I tell him that we do have enough personality connection to still be friends. (Remember, when he first started talking to me, he said that if we couldn't date, he just wanted to be friends).

Despite my efforts to be a big girl and end things, he mostly rejected my peace offering. He asked for another date! How do I get rid of this guy? Honestly?! *Sigh. You'd think this was a desirable problem....but it's not.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Beautylicious!

Today's blog title is brought to you by Jenyne M. Raines, author of the same titled book. The book is the fabulous black woman's guide to more fabulousness. A total recommended read.

What made me think of it, aside from the fact that I'm on a habitual read of the book, is my trip to the airport today. While attempting to make eye contact with a cutie waiting across the gate from me, I noticed a glamazon. She was so fabulous, with excellent hair, makeup and clothing. I will say she wasn't of the "I woke up looking like this" variety, but I was nonetheless impressed. Incidentally, I saw another woman walking from the eL the other day who was so fabulous I couldn't stop looking at her. She was epically stylish.

So that got me to thinking, these two gals were oozing style from their very pores in a way I've always wanted to do. With the caveat that I want to be of the "I woke up looking like this" variety. (I've seen some of those too, they are extremely few and far between). But, despite the ridiculous number of books dedicated to the subject; I find most women reach for this level of style, but fall short. So, is it hopeless? Are you born with it, and if you're born without the style gene, you're just out of luck? Or, is it something you can grow into?

I ultimately decided that it is something that you can grow into. And, I've also decided that I will be growing into it shortly. Case in point, I don't think it requires money, but money certainly helps. Allow me to sketch a picture for you: Think back to the days (as in, mere moments ago) when you last saw someone who was ghetto-fabulous. Not that girl from down the block, but more like 50 Cent (aka no-talent hack). He has more money than is decent, given his complete lack of talent and social responsibility, and yet has a complete lack of taste. A second example, you may remember my shameless obsession with the Real Housewives of Orange County. If you look back in the archives, you'll read a section where one Housewife was trying to get "CZs" put on her Hummer's (it was pink, if memory serves) rims. Also, not oozing style.

So, what we learn from this is that oozing style does not require money. But, money definitely helps you make a completely necessary purchase without feeling guilty about those total praise-worthy effen pumps with a red sole from Nine West (which were COMPLETELY worth the near 3 figures I dropped). We have also learned that what women believe is true...we really only dress up for each other....no man can properly appreciate what oozing style really is. :)

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Top Ten Reasons

The title of my blog is "The Book I Keep Promising to Write." I have decided to give you the top ten reasons why this is an empty promise:

1. Because, my blog is only funny if you know me personally.
2. Because, I can't turn my blog into a coherent book.
3. Because I know someone who attempted to shop her blog as a book to publishers, and they told her that it was too blog-y and not book-y.
4. Because, I don't have any connections in publishing.
5. Because, if we take out all of the randomness, there's probably only 9 pages of book text here.
6. Because I attempted to write a fiction novel once, and it really wasn't that thrilling.
7. Although, that failed attempt was an attempt at a romance novel; so maybe it was a failed attempt because I wasn't writing from experience.
8. Because I don't have any ink in my printer.
9. Because I don't know anyone who would purchase it, except my friends and family, and that's really not enough people to support publishing costs.
10. Because I said so...until further notice. :)

Ok, I didn't say they'd be good reasons. But they're reasons. Of course, they're subject to change.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Alert Level: Mandarin

So lately, people keep asking me why I'm single. My answer is usually "how should I know?" I mean really, I can tell you why the relationships I've had have ended...I can't tell you why I don't get asked out. Should I take a poll the next time I pass some guys on the street?

At any rate, all the questions were starting to make me paranoid. (For roughly 18 hours). But, I'm over it, because in the grand scheme of things, I don't necessarily want a man right now. (I mean, I've had my reasons why they're useful...) But, what I want right now are chick friends. With whom I can discuss various chick things. Ok, let me clarify, chick friends who are nearby. Sorta the down side to being all kinds of cosmopolitan -- many of my friends are out of town...Some in fabulous foreign places, one jetsetting to Lebanon. Crazy huh? How cool is it to say you have a friend who's living in Lebanon?

Meanwhile, things in the C are picking up. I may even be attending a fashion show tomorrow, barring it being cost-prohibitive. If I go, I'll be all over the updated posting. Although, I was meant to be going to a fantastic girls' night event at a bar downtown -- but couldn't find anyone who was free. So, we'll see how tomorrow turns out.