pheebee's mom

So, my mom read this post and decided to give me some sage advice as a result:

Ma: I read your blog today, and I thought it was funny.

Me: Oh yeah?

Ma: Yeah. And you know, I thought that you should make a new year's resolution for next year. Next year, you should do things differently. You need to get in the right circles, just like that Anna girl that got killed in the islands.

Me: *Confused look pointed at my phone.* Who? What? What are you even talking about right now?

Ma: You know. Anna something. She was so in love with the lawyer. Or he was in love with her. And she left the little girl behind. She had a son, he was in his 20s and he got killed...er...drowned or something first. Anyway, she worked the right circles and got in with the right people.

Me: Say huh?

Ma: Well, you always say you don't have any money and you don't meet people. You need to join the right clubs down there. Anna Nicole something. That's it. She was a poor white woman.

Me: Anna Nicole Smith? Mother! She was a Playboy Playmate!!!

Ma: Well that's how she met all the right people and climbed her way to the top!! *emphatically*

Me: So....are you saying you want me to be a Playboy bunny?

Ma: If you can get in Playboy, I want you in there.

Me: ... *mystified silence*... Have you been drinking?

Ma: I'm just saying. So anyway, what are you doing tonight?

Me: Watching TV. *and drinking wine...but I don't mention that part. Or that the reason I'm staying in is because a Sunday Funday is scheduled for this weekend and I need to save up :)*

Ma: See. We need to get you out from in front of the TV.

Me: sigh.

Unbelievably, this is the 2nd time my mother's suggested I be a Playmate. Coincidentally, it's not the first time she's cited Anna Nicole Smith as a role model. And, on top of all these things, she's also the one who's scarred me for life for dating an older man. So, what we've learned is:

1. I should be a Playboy Playmate
2. My particular brand of crazy is hereditary.

Yup. That really happened. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming -- and then I checked the bottle of wine I was drinking. I'd only had one glass at that point; and the glass was more than half full. Definitely didn't hallucinate it. HAHA.