I beg to differ

So there I was, reading the RedEye, when I cam across a rather absurd article. It was actually a book review, so the article wasn't absurd so much as the book is absurd. Anyway, the name of the book is "Rules of the Game."

The premise sounds logical enough. This guy has deemed himself a pickup artist, and has decided to share this knowledge with hapless guys out there who are not smooth-as-buttah. Ok, fine. I can handle that. The Game doesn't come naturally to everyone. And it takes a helluva lot of guts to walk up to a girl and pull a connection/relationship out of thin air. I am totally on board with that notion.

However, I'd like to see some proof of this guy's player card. Frankly, I question his ability to pick up a woman based on a few of the tips the RedEye pulled out to share with its readership. The first tip: Read Cosmo. His reasoning is sound -- it's hot to men when women can speak intelligently and enthusiastically about sports. Therefore it should be hot when men speak intelligently and enthusiastically about things women care about. But Cosmo?! Some titles from Cosmo: "How to make him hot". "Best sex position EVER." "How to have an orgasm right now!"...Are these really appropriate first met topics? And are you really proving you're interested in things the object of your desire is interested in? No. You're not.

Another tip: Do magic tricks. I'm NOT making this up. This man seriously suggests doing a magic trick in the bar, because "if you're bored in a bar, then you'd rather be entertained by someone." Perhaps this is true. But I will find you nothing but cheesy and lame if you're doing magic tricks in the bar. At that point, the only magic I want to see is you disappearing. I'm just saying.

I can't tell you how to get your mack on if you don't have the confidence to do it. But I can definitely tell you that I will not be duly impressed by your knowledge of Cosmo, or your magical ability. Honestly, can't you just say hello?