Civil War

My body and my brain are currently in a civil war. My brain is adamantly opposed to weighing more than I did when I reached my end goal in 2011. (We'll call this A#). On the other hand, my body is totally comfortable at my current weight. (We'll call this B#). Now, the difference between A# and B# is literally less than 10 lbs. But, it's a difference that I can see. Ostensibly, it's a difference others can see. Now, don't get it twisted, I always look good. I choose my wardrobe changes carefully, to reflect whatever shape I'm trying to get the world to see. So, it's really not about self-esteem. But, it is a little bit about what others think.

I've spent umpteen amount of time pointing out the differences between genders regarding the definition of beauty. (Ditto for the differences between cultures). But, here's a question...which side of the line do you choose when you're setting a goal? Consistently, whenever I've been in the general vicinity of A#, I've felt super hot (and more importantly, strong and healthy). But, whenever I'm in the vicinity of B#, the men in my life smile a little bit bigger, and make more ridiculous comments. (My favorite comment of all time? When the Titan told me the other day that last summer I was getting too little, was losing my thickness. He said, and I quote "some of those white girls around the gym had you...and we just can't have that during Black History Month." PAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.) Moreover, am I the only person who has this internal debate?

At the end of the day, it's about whatever makes YOU happy. You're the one putting in the work, so you might as well go for what you find sexy (as long as it isn't unhealthy, obvies). But, as the Titan once told me, be prepared for your significant other to "express his opinion." HA. I guess that's ok...since I have sooooo many things to say about his clothes...shoes...cologne...choice of cocktail...extracurriculars...friends... :}.