You don't need Emily Post for this...

Last weekend, I had plans with the hot cop. He had to cancel last minute because of work, but he asked if I was available for the next day. I didn't have any plans, but I was reluctant to make any because I knew the potential for a headache was pretty high since I was getting my hair did. Nonetheless, I still agreed to schedule a meet-up. Well, he ended up standing me up. Normally, this would result in a lot of angry thoughts and text messages involving a few choice words. But my head hurt so damn much from getting a sew-in that I barely noticed he didn't show up. Later, I found out that he didn't show up because he was depressed over the news that he is getting deployed next year. I am not a total bitch, so I was understanding and I felt bad for him. That, and my headache was so bad that had he called, he would have found out that I was planning to cancel on him.

Now, the very next week, AKA on Friday, I asked him if he wanted to hook up after work after I finished up at happy hour with my co-workers. He'd already told me he had the day off, so I knew he was free. He actually agreed. As I was leaving downtown, I asked if he was cancelling on me, as he had done for the past few times we made plans. He then responded to my accusatory text: "No, I'm coming." And that was the last thing I've heard from him. My fault though. At the end of the day, as I've already said, his actions showed he just wasn't that into me. But, I kept attempting to give him the benefit of the doubt for that month, because he kept saying he was sooooo interested and would be switching to a different schedule, allowing for more availability. But, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Given that hot cop and I only went out a grand total of 5 times over the span of 3 months, it's not that big of deal in an individual sense. Hell, I faded him out after the first 2 dates. Dates #3-5 only happened because we had a mutual friend in Jade**. No, the point of this story was for background, in order to give a little lesson to everyone: Standing someone up is never, ever, EVER ok.

It doesn't take a whole lot of common sense* to know that everyone deserves common courtesy. If you decide not to go out with someone, you should tell them (be it a date, a friend, family, anybody!). In this day an age, there is too much available technology to keep someone waiting for more than 15-20 minutes. Anything longer than that requires a call, text, email, carrier pigeon, etc. I mean, really. Even if you're too chicken to actually make that call, you can very easily send a text. "sorry, can't make it today/tonight/this afternoon. something came up." You've still accomplished the blow-off, but you haven't completely wasted the other person's time.

Hey, I understand, sometimes blowing off plans is necessary. Sometimes you don't want to go to the mall. Sometimes, you don't want to endure another boring date. Sometimes you have the worst. headache. ever. For most reasonable people, it's not about the cancellation. We all gotta do it sometimes. It's about the disrespect you've shown by not being able to deign to pick up the damn phone (or carrier pigeon). You are not that special or busy. Show the person you're meeting with that you understand that the world does not, in fact, revolve around you. Just sayin'.

*or a rocket scientist

**Are 3 and 4 even dates? Since the 3 of us were kicking it while she was in town?!