This morning as I was getting dressed, I picked out a dress that had 3/4 length sleeves, a faux wrap, and a busy, but small print pattern (so as not to overwhelm my vertically-challenged frame). It also has a narrow pencil skirt, of the variety worn by impossibly fit (or ridiculously skinny) women. And, most importantly, it's made of stretchy material.
Anyway, I bought this dress at the height of my new level of awesome, and I was rocking it. This was a mere 6-8 months ago, but since then, I've backslid a bit. Admittedly, my backsliding has been a result of my inability to workout.* But, my eating habits were not the sort which allow for time off from the gym. Short story long, this morning I had an extra 5-7 lbs to put in this dress.
When I got dressed this morning, I spent about 5 minutes fretting over the fact that the dress was a bit...um...tight. I thought it was hugging** my arse a bit snugly. I also was concerned that the soft mounds it formed to were located in the thigh/hip region, rather than the much more desirable region above my waist. But, I was running late, and I couldn't think of a better alternative. So off we went.
Well, I get to work, and I have had no less than three confirmations that my suspicions were correct. First, when I was walking out of the lobby to make a 'bux run, I heard the security guard behind me go "mm, mm MM!!!". You know the sound I'm talking about...the sort one makes when they see something and they just can't believe it? Usually reserved for kiddie shenanigans, REALLY good cake, and the like. Well, THAT'S the reaction I got from the ...ahem... rear view. I told him that he needed to remember that when thinking makes noise, it's talking. And then I proceeded to back out of the door, to prevent additional commentary. When I got to 'bux, the cashier that's had a crush on me for 3 years slipped me a freebie. Which, is nothing unusual. Then he came around the other side of the counter, where I was waiting for a drink. He asked the (white) guy standing next to me if they could switch spots, so that he could "stand and have that view." ACK! The (white) guy had on sunglasses, but now I'm pretty sure he had been ...ahem...checking my outfit for a VPL***, shall we say. (Here is where my internal monologue began. "Aw hell..." I thought to myself). Finally, as I am walking red-faced, and hurriedly back to my office, I see a (Latino) guy walking towards me. I am 70% certain I read his lips to say "damn!!!", but it was under his breath so I can't be certain. Right after that, I got a smile/nod/"hi!" combo. (And the internal monologue continued...@#$*@#$&@#*&@*$@!!!!!! Not wearing this &@#$&@ dress again until I hit the gym!!).
Listen, compliments appreciated, but when 4 different men of 3 different races are making similar comments; I'm pretty sure that my conclusion about the fit of this dress is spot on. Goodness knows they weren't observing how well I accessorized, using a minor color, or that I emphasized the dress by wearing a neutral tone shoe. Just sayin'.
*By the way? I can't stress the importance of foam rolling. Had I heeded my personal trainer's warning back in April, I wouldn't have gotten myself injured. Necessitating 16 visits (or more) to a physical therapist, to strengthen my over-used IT band. (And, as a result, take 5 months off from running, and 2 months off from working out altogether).
**And by hugging, I mean, hanging on for dear life
***VPL: visible panty line
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