Social Experiment 2/17/2012

I forgot to hit the publish button on Friday...but better late than never, right?

So, the hot cop has been more or less opposed to being more than a day tripper on the island. Despite grand overtures in the first couple weeks, it has since fizzled to little more than a random text exchanges here and there.

I first suspected something was up when I left for New Orleans, and the Titan asked me to text him when I got there safely, and the hot cop didn’t really know when I was leaving or when I was supposed to arrive in NOLA. When I finally did hear from him, he was pretty nonchalant about what I was doing and who I was with – even though I tried to get a rise out of him. Given his indifference, I assume that his time on my island was up and that would be that. Of course, nothing is ever that simple with me, is it?

Without getting into too many details, let’s just say that it’s been over a month since we’ve been out, and communication has gone from everyday all day, to 2-3 days with no contact. When there is contact, it’s filled with sweet words and random proclamations (“I miss you.”). But, as I told this dude, actions speak louder than words. And his current actions scream “it’s been real. But I’m just not into you. Kthxbye!”

As my friends and family know, I wasn’t that into this guy in the early days. He just didn’t trip my trigger. Then, something happened and we seemed to click. That only lasted a couple weeks though, so it could easily be swept under the rug and just added to the list of dates I went on just for the stories. Why take it any further, right? Well, two reasons. First, when we were getting along for those 5 minutes, we got along quite well. And during one of the phone-blowing-up periods, he said that he was switching back to the day shift, which he hopes will allow more time for us to get together. Second, I decided I wanted to try a little social experiment.

I’ve read exactly 3 self-help-y relationship books in my lifetime: He’s Just Not that Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo; Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, by Steve Harvey; and Why Men Love Bitches, by Sherry Argov. Each of these were pretty good for a laugh. The first was written by writers for a TV show, the second by an awesome comedian, and the third was recommended to me – and ended up being pretty funny. They all have more or less the same general themes. One of these is “don’t be so accessible…he’ll run to come find you.” As a general rule, I don’t take advice from pop-psychology books. I’m always a little cynical about books written by people about clearly individualized situations. But, since they all say essentially the same thing, I thought I’d give it a shot.

So here are the general rules. (With each specific situation to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis).

1. Do not respond to every contact right away. Do not always be available.
2. Turn down some of his offers for a date. Don't be easy to catch.
3. When you do go out, don't be clingy.
4. Don't be all mother-hen-ish. Seriously, no man wants to date his mother.
5. Don't accept shenanigans. If he's not treating you the way you want to be treated, bounce.
6. Don't show all your cards right away.
7. Do not, ever, feel the need to "talk". It's too early for this.

Let's see where this little adventure takes us...shall we?