Missing

That's it, I'm taking out an APB on a few articles of clothing, and issuing a warrant for the search and arrest of local washing machines and dryers. I have lost 2 pairs of underwear. Both are brown, BBV, and will cost a mint to replace now that I no longer possess an employee discount. I have also lost my workout bandana. It is pink, faded, and has been permanently stretched out since I always tied the same corners together.

How crazy and/or scatterbrained does one have to be to lose whole articles of clothing (socks notwithstanding). The biggest problem is that I have no where to look. As for the underwear, they have been missing for quite some time, but I always thought they were here, and when I couldn't find them here, I thought they were back at school. Turns out they were in neither place. Which begs the question where in the bejeebies are they? Did I have a couple rampant, illicit affairs that I don't remember? If so, does my partner read this blog? Has he saved these underwear? And can he return them? On second thought, don't return them. Just send me $20 to replace them. Thanks.

Likewise, did he steal my bandana? Because I'm really close to using it as an excuse not to go to the gym....Ok, not really. Having a lot of time on my hands + nothing on daytime television has turned out to be an excellent weight loss program. I'm but a few pounds away from fitting into my skinny jeans again. I guess I'd just better find a suitable bandana replacement.