Insta-Boyfriend

My former neighbor, we'll call him Adam, and I used to be each other's rescue instant boyfriend/girlfriend. Whenever one of us appeared to be trapped in a conversation with someone undesirable, we'd go over and rescue the other, thereby appearing to be the significant other. Well, this weekend, he may have gotten himself fired. Although, I must admit, the incident which caused the firing was brilliantly orchestrated by Random Player.

Mr. Random Player was a guy at the bar on Saturday night. He and his friend Wing Man had been scoping me for quite some time. So much so that while I was talking to Adam, he pointed them out....referring to them as "my admirers" and complaining that such things never happen to men. This fact, by the way, is patently false, as there is an extreme shortage of desirable men in that town. This leads to women brazenly staring at sexy men while swimming in puddles of drool. Anyway, the minute Adam turned his back, Random Player walked up to me and asked what was up. Random Player is NOT one of the aforementioned sexy sexy men. Really, he is more of the creepy persuasion. So, he is (allegedly) wooing me with his game. He is accusing me of being with a man (Adam) who clearly isn't worried about me. He finds all of my explanations unacceptable. In spite of my protests, I couldn't help but be impressed by Random Player and Wing Man's orchestrations. While talking to me, Random Player took me by the waist and spun me around. Effortlessly blocking Adam's view of me. His friend, Wing Man, then closed the gap on the other side, blocking my access to getting Adam's attention. Essentially -- if I may borrow a basketball term -- I was boxed out.

*Sigh* If only he'd been as cute as the young tender. (Who, by the way, hasn't called me yet).