Have you ever attempted to change your personality? When I was in Thailand, one of the guys (a former camp counselor) started a game called "what would you change about your personality." What would be your answer?
I'm not really big on the self-evaluation questions. Because, what kind of people lie to themselves? Really deluded people. And I'd rather not be really deluded. So, I end up answering the question, and then I am saddened by whatever horrible trait I'm unable to fix. My particular trait is the complete lack of ability to be romantically confrontational. I talk a big game, but I feel really bad telling someone who really likes me to bugger off. Now, don't get it twisted, I actually kind of enjoy blowing off a guy who is a total jerk, or THAT guy in the club. But others, such as 'bux boyf, and the Christian rapper -- wildly more difficult. As it turns out, I actually DO have feelings. (Something I'm not actually big on admitting -- which is another trait I should probably admit to wanting to change, but I'll reserve that one).
And really, how arrogant do you have to be to assume that turning someone down will hurt their feelings? Honestly, I'm not that arrogant. But I do think it's unpleasant to hear from someone that they just aren't that into you. And I'd feel terrible creating that unpleasant feeling. So, instead, I prefer to be all kinds of passive-aggressive. Thus far, it's worked splendidly, in that I can just stop answering phone calls, or I can force that person to stop calling me. (The classic reverse breakup). But, now I've gone and trapped myself with 'bux boyf. Either I confront him, and feel all icky; or I am stuck with him. Either way, I'm not entirely certain how I could ever go to that particular store again.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel....he's thinking about quitting. AND he had an interview with the Real World. Maybe he'll hit it big and move away to LALA Land.
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1. he's doing the real world interview to impress you
2. "But, now I've gone and trapped myself with 'bux boyf. ...or I am stuck with him." --> read your own words! you don't want to be with him! you're just not that into him!!!!
3. stop being p-a, suck it up and be a big girl -- not only is it kinder, you'll feel better about being honest with him from the start. if he's a typical guy and can't deal with the fact that you're self-aware enough to be that honest with both him and yourself, then ... well we already reached the conclusion that you're probably better off without him.
4. "And really, how arrogant do you have to be to assume that turning someone down will hurt their feelings?" --> you already know all the answers to your questions, so please, why are we having this conversation still???
5. the answer to my above question is: so I can avoid starting on my work project that was due last Monday and I'm doing at 3am b/c I'm taking tomorrow off to go to Nantucket -- so thanks and hey! stop distracting me!
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