Gym observations

Yesterday, I was at the gym, doing some pre-repenting for caloric sins I'd intentionally be committing a few hours later. While I was doing some heavy lifting, I saw Adonis. So, it's the world's worst kept secret that I am a little shallow when it comes to men.* I've admired my share of lovely men. Well, yesterday, the bar was raised. While doing a quick set of 3 reps of some lovely curls, flys, and squats, I saw a guy walk by. Obviously...I was in the weight room so it was bound to be filled with the boys. But, a young man walked by in red shorts and a sleeveless shirt. At first, I thought the chosen workout outfit was ridiculous. He was one of these guys that not only cuts the sleeves off, but also cuts 1/3rd of the shirt off on each side, such that not only are his sleeves out, but so is his entire side. This, normally, is totally ridiculous. This time, it was totally acceptable. He was cut like a picture out of Men's Health. Then, he was the color of brown sugar melted with butter. Finally, he had a serious John Legend 5 o'clock shadow happening. He had a strong jaw, and great upper body muscles. I couldn't really tell from where I was standing, but I bet he had long thick lashes to go with expressive eyes and a kissable mouth. :). The reason I couldn't see his eyes wasn't for lack of trying though. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he saw me staring. I was shamelessly watching him in the mirror, looking at him when he walked past, following him with my eyes...I had a serious creepy stalker vibe and there was nothing I could do about it. And then, sadly, his workout was over before mine. So, he walked away and disappeared in the mist. It was sad; but it was also motivation for me to go to the gym every day -- just in case he's there again.

Despite disappearing, I was left in my reverie. He was gone, but his memory remained, and made me so very happy. But then, my reverie was interrupted. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. I was headed to the locker room to exchange my weight-lifting gloves for my headphones (it was cardio time, baby!!!), and what did I see? Some serious foolishness that pushed the image of Adonis right out of my head. On my way, I passed a 20 year old hussy. Ok, I don't know that she was 20, necessarily. But she was a rail-thin bitch in white yoga pants, and a white sports bra. How do I know what color her sports bra was? Because this skinny bitch had on a turquoise lace crop top over it. Who the hell works out in lingerie?! Girls that mistake the gym for a daytime club scene, that's who. The sad thing is? My gym just ain't that kind of health club. Girls don't walk around in full make up, and I haven't seen nary a sequins in the Zumba classes. So please, Ms. Hussy, take your narrow-hussy-behind out of my gym before Adonis sees you. Because if you so much as give him side-eye so help me I will choke-a-bitch...and not feel bad about it. You got me? Good. Glad we have an understanding.

Adonis? I'm comin' for you baby. Just let me know your weekly workout schedule. Shoot. We already have so much in common ;)


*And when I say a little shallow, I mean totally. But can I help it if the boys are so pretty to look at!?