Pretty but smart

Today a Facebook friend posted the following link: http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/08/31/7539556-im-too-pretty-to-do-homework-so-my-brother-has-to-do-it-for-me?fb_ref=.Tl5qAik5Gzg.like&fb_source=other_multiline

For those who aren't going to click on the link, it's an article about a t-shirt that JCP put out for little girls that said "I'm too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me." I, for one, found the tshirt hilarious. But my Facebook friend (along with others) was appalled. So many people were appalled that JCP quickly pulled the shirt and offered an apology for being offensive. Later, I was discussing the shirt with kae.dea, and I told her how it made me giggle. She pointed out that it is funny for an adult because you're old enough to know that it's meant to be a joke, and that pretty and smart are not mutually exclusive. She also pointed out that little girls begin to decline academically around 4th and 5th grade when they find out it isn't cool to be smart. And this is the point that I could have been knocked over with a feather. What's this nonsense about not being able to be pretty and smart at the same time? Who the hell is teaching this BS?? Ok pause for a second. I'm not living under a rock. I'm totally familiar with the concept of pretty but dumb (useful for boys and girls, frankly.*) But, I've never been made aware of the fact that you can't be pretty AND smart. I definitely missed the memo on this. Grant it, as kae.dea says** my obliviousness to this phenomenon may have something to do with my sassy and smart mother.

When I was growing up, it was a given that I would keep my prettily powdered nose in a book. I would never EVER leave my house lookin' a hot mess, and the only place I'd be headed would be school or an extracurricular activity. It was a given that I'd be a cutie -- my mother had so many outfits that her auntie that babysat me would change my clothes halfway through the day. (She bought all the cute little dresses and bobby socks BEFORE ever knowing what I'd look like). When I was old enough to talk, stand, and point, I started learning to read. When I was old enough to learn and use the concept of charm, Ma entered me in Miss America Princess pageants.***

Later in life, I wasn't on anybody's top 10 list of hot girls in school. (Although that may have had more to do with how beauty was defined where I went to school, rather than how I looked). But goodness knows I still tried to look at least halfway decent and somewhat fashionable. Also? It's not like I went to a school where it was particularly cool to be smart. But, no one made fun of kids for being smart -- it was being smart AND dorky that was the problem. If you were smart and charming, or smart and pretty, or smart and kicked serious Mario Bros/Sonic the Hedgehog ass, you were in. Frankly, anything went when it came to making fun of people. Being too smart, too stupid, ugly, ditzy, wrong race, wrong religion, ANYTHING went. Which is why, it was important to be the total package. Hot, awesome, charming, smart, and having a car. These were the sorts of things that girls needed to be. In my experience, pretty was only enough if the girl put out. But where does that get you other than knocked up?

So, rock on JCP. If a girl starts dumbing down because she thinks that people won't like her, well, I don't blame JCP on that one. Maybe you should've told the little girl that she needs to be a total package. Because all a pretty face really gets you is "in trouble." Side note? Those girls weren't the ones who got engagement rings or flowers sent to them in class either. Seriously, all they got was laid.

*See The Titan, "The Early Days; or The First Time We Dated"

**and I will surely never admit, lest pheebee's mom gets a big head about it

***No, I was NOT a toddler in a tiara. I was a grade-schooler in a tiara. And I got 4th place twice, Most Ticket Sales once, and I won talent and went to Nationals once. And what?