Outdone

The Summer of Exes continues. Last night, I was out and about with the Titan and a couple of his friends. Our original plan was to head out to a club downtown; but when we couldn't procure free entry, we quickly changed course and headed up north to...Wrigleyville...dum dum dummmmm!!!!

I haven't been up to Wrigley for years. Literally, years. I started boycotting it (officially) shortly after I turned 27, around the time I realized that the age limit for women was about 24. Furthermore, I was tired of being able to count the people of color. There are only so many times I can be approached by drunk frat guys in hopes that the sway of my hips and the arch of my back holds the cure for their jungle fever before my eye starts to twitch. That said, I had squat better to do last night, and the Titan is pretty to look at, so I figured what the heck. I was expecting to find gaggles of underagers and undergrads; the girls overdressed for what is really a strip of dive bars; and the guys in cargo shorts and polos or jerseys. For the most part, I was right. Most of the girls were decked out in the latest Forever 21 Lycra dresses and cheap killer heels. There were also a lot of girls in shorts, sundresses, and maxi dresses.* The guys were exactly as I thought they'd be. Cargo shorts, plaid shorts, polos and sports t-shirts.

But boy, did I see something extra unexpected at the bar. As is usually inevitable in Wrigley, there were a few dance-offs. The first was one of those classic rhythmless affairs. But, the second, left me speechless for at least 15 minutes. There was a short girl in a sundress; and she was the fairest of the fair, with dark hair. If someone was going to play her in a movie, it'd be Christina Ricci circa Monster. She was having a dance-off with some non-descript guy. Let me set the scene for you. The song that was on was "No Hands" by Waka Flocka Flame.** (Or something similar. Basically, a serious hood-rap song without much substance). Christini Ricci was gettin' her dance-off on, poppin' it and whatnot. Girl had decent rhythm, too. And then, she busted out the C-walk. No joke. She actually went off on the first contender with the C-walk. The next guy tried to keep up, even brushed a little dirt off his shoulder. She stepped to him (again with the C-Walk!) and then bent to brush the dirt off his shoes. But, this girl wasn't a 2 trick pony. When she finished poppin, and doing the C-walk, on the next song (I forget what it was), out came the heel-toe. BOOM. I was beyond impressed. Oh girl was shuttin' it DOWN.

The heel-toe, for the unfamiliar, here is a video on how to do it:


The thing about this dance -- it's SO hard! I've been trying to figure out how to do it for years. (Actually, I'm kinda glad I found this video, maybe now I'll finally figure it out). And this chick was doing it for real.

After the last song went off she left a bunch of challengers licking their wounds. She noticed the Titan trying to get me to step to her and she bar whispered to me that she was headed out for a smoke, but that she always got excited because she knew the DJ and he always "played [her] shit." HA. Christina Ricci just said the DJ was playin' her shit. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, I couldn't even take it. On her way out the door, she instructed the DJ not to play any 112 til she got back. (Which had to mean Peaches & Cream, because what other song did they have?)

I wish I'd had the sense to take a video of it. But I think I dislocated my jaw after watching her. It was AWESOME. For sure made my night. Christina? Wherever you are, brush that dirt off your shoulder, girl. You got it goin' on fo' sho'. Unexpected hood = awesome. ;)



*When I was getting dressed, I was a little worried that I would feel awkward. I wore black short shorts and a Ed Hardy-esque t-shirt and heels; for those keeping track. I didn't feel old as I expected I would. Heck, I don't even think anyone knew I was older than most people in the bar. Frankly, I'm beginning to think that the origin of that feeling is a seed of BS that I was fed and isn't completely accurate. That said, upon trying on a million outfits from my closet, I did feel rather puffy. Backsliding is not part of the Mission so I'd better get back on that train.

**Who was the person in A&R that approved that name?