Manscaping

There's a trend that's been brewing for a while called manscaping. I think the term was coined by the Queer Eye for Straight Guy guys back when Bravo/NBC was running that show. Basically, it's shaving, trimming, and grooming of men's body hair. I find men's opposition to the practice to be more than a little disingenuous. Frankly, I think they are just being whiny and lazy. Women have been landscaping since the day before forever. We manage to do it with minimal complaints.

But I digress. I can understand the confusion among the guys about whether they should bust out the razor. As near as I can tell, women just can't reach a consensus on whether they prefer men smooth as cashmere or rough and burly. I do believe, however, there are certain things that women everywhere agree on. So men? Take note.

1. Back hair is never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ok. There isn't a woman (in this country, at least) who wants to see that. If you can't figure out how to get rid of it solo, make an appointment at your local waxer. Word to the wise? Take some tylenol or ibuprofen before you go. Committing follicle-icide by hot wax is no joke. Don't be fooled by the warm soothing feeling of the wax being placed on your skin. That's just a trick that aestheticians play to lull you into a sense of complacency. And then? RRRRIIIIIIIPPPPP! Yeah, it's sorta like that scene from 40 Year Old Virgin -- except not as funny, because it's happening to you. But hey, it's totally necessary, I promise.

2. The unibrow. Pluck it, tweeze it, wax it, thread it. I don't care how you do it, just get rid of it. No one has ever said that Bert was sexy. So unless you've got a banana-shaped head and you're still wearing a stripey-sweater, try to rock 2 eyebrows at all times, mkay? Kthxbye.

3. Underarm hair. Listen, this isn't necessarily a popular one. But the times I've dated a man who kept the underarms smooth and hair-free have turned out to be nothing but pleasant experiences. Some of those guys were the classic pretty-boy metrosexuals that we all know I love. The others told me that they do it because they discovered that it keeps them from being stinky. And you know what's totally acceptable? Not being stinky.

As for the rest of the body hair, I'm all for you taking it off if you've got the body to support it. As it is, I demand a clean cut guy. A tight fade (if that's the cut he's got), clean shaven face, the whole nine. It was only natural that I'd progress to a smooth as cashmere kinda dude. Before I actually experienced it, I thought it might seem weird to touch a man's leg and it be as smooth as mine. But turns out? It's kind of awesome. And honestly? I kind of support men having to put forth a tiny fraction of effort that women have to do each and every day. I mean, even a male peacock displays his plumage. The least a human male could do is build up some pecs (and abs and back and legs) and then take away the layer of fur on top. Just sayin'!