Hairy Eyeballs.

Every night, I wash my face with facial cleanser. Twice a week, I exfoliate with a gentle Clinique wash. All of this in addition to whatever else I'm doing in the shower. When I get out of the shower, I brush my teeth, floss, and then rinse with Scope, Crest mouthwash, or Listerine (whichever was on sale). Then, it's back to facial care. I follow it up with an age-defying night cream, and every other day, Clinique Even Better.

Come morning time (after a regular toothbrushing, of course), I put on SPF 15 containing face "Uplifting" cream. Only to be followed by Anti-Ageing primer (which smells like oranges). This is before the makeup routine even starts. When it's time to start the war paint, I prep with Urban Decay Eyeshadow Potion. Followed by SPF15 liquid foundation, Mineralize powder, blush, shadow, eyeliner, and mascara. And then, and only then, can I actually leave the house.

Here's my question: Who decided what the definition of beauty. Certain things make sense. Blush, I get, because color in the cheeks is a sign of health. And even-ing out the skin tone with foundation I get, because symmetry is apparently scientifically attractive. And if you consider eyeshadow merely an accessory, then it's always fun to play with color. (And who doesn't love an excuse to coordinate yet another aspect of an outfit?)

But, when did we decide that hairy eyeballs is beautiful? I mean really, I love the look of long dark eyelashes, but what purpose does mascara truly serve? And, for the record, I have yet to hear a man say "she has beautiful eyelashes." And, if we're making hairy eyeballs beautiful, then why is a bald forehead beautiful? We've moved from plucking to waxing to threading. And, you know what? All of them are painful! For what possible purpose are we removing forehead hair? And don't even get me started on leg-shaving or bikini waxing!!!

All of that, and those are only surface changes. There are women who will go under the knife in the name of beauty. This isn't a post about body dysmorphia and that ilk. I get that there are women who have been screwed in the head by a zillion different outside (and inside) influences. My question stems more from the definition of surface beauty. The little things that women do to themselves in order to look prettier. Is the benefit from the additional pretty disproportionate to the amount of pain in the arse suffered? If I was going to guess, my answer would be yes.

I like to tease 2DP...that the only reason he ever does anything (workout, wear cologne, drive a nice car...) is to get women. A fact he more or less admits. But, the things women do aren't really impressing most men. (See above-mentioned note re: long eyelashes). So why are women going through all of this work to impress each other, when we know full well how much pain it causes? I propose a movement -- the 5 minute face will be a 5 minute face INCLUDING prep time. From now on, Project Make-up Optional should be exercised more often.