With Benefits

There comes a time in every gal's life when some guy asks her if he can get the benefit of the cookie* without all of the strings of a relationship attached. The circumstances of the question can range from a recent break-up; or he really likes her but doesn't want to ruin the friendship; or he's in town for a short period, but doesn't live wherever the gal is. Whatever the reason, the basic parameters are the same. This is a situation which has been mocked in television and movies ad nauseum. Usually, chick flicks result in the couple getting together. Whatever.

My question is about real life. I wonder if these arrangements ever really work out. I have female friends who claim that they can totally get down with the get down without emotional attachment. Other women say that there is no cookie without emotional connections.

More than one person has claimed that the cookie is always better when baked with love. Which leads to the question -- given that a woman's enjoyment of the cookie is generally less likely, and it's always better with love, why on earth would any woman agree to the friends with benefits arrangement? It is my contention that it is never hard for a woman to find a partner. (Seriously ladies. Go outside. Throw a rock. Ask that dude you hit if he wants to get it on. The end). So it can't be that the woman is hard-up for cookies. Assuming that it isn't a man that she's baked** with before, then it's unchartered territory, and no guarantee that it'll be delicious. (And, is there anything more delicious than really good cookies?)

Given all of those factors, maybe it is true that women can disconnect. Because otherwise, what's in it for her? I'd like to believe that it is the minority of women who believe that they can turn this friends with benefits arrangement into a real relationship. Just for those ladies, allow me to give you this tidbit from the Engineer (a former friend of mine): you can't turn a burger dinner into a filet mignon. Once you've set the tone, it is what it is. Ok? Kthxbye.



*For definition of the cookie, see Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey.

**Now I'm just amused by the several code words I'm using