Miss Independent

My Ma raised me to be an independent woman. Despite being married, my mother was a firm believer in having her own house, her own car, two jobs, work hard she a bad broad*, and her own overall independence. It wasn't really a big issue, it's just how it was. Ma was always confused by the women who didn't operate that way. The ladies who always needed a man around; or (my favorite example) who would hide their shopping triumphs from their husband -- "because he'd be upset about how much I spent." Ma's reaction? "Say what? Don't you punch the clock everyday too?"

As a result, she raised a rather fiestily independent daughter. Each decision I've made regarding my future has been, well, about what's best for me. I chose my apartment -- and later my condo; my car; and credit card debt, based on how much I could afford to pay on my own. I decide what my future looks like based on what's best for me. There really isn't much flexibility, because there really isn't a need -- I mean, if I change my mind, who's around to whine about it? Frankly, no one else gets a vote. This is an island of one with a benevolent dictator -- visitor passes are generally given, but never has there been consideration for permanent residents.

Lately, I was confronted by my independent stance. Not that it was a bad thing, but that it was so "rigid" (I'd like to point out that it isn't rigid if you only have to consider one person's desires. If I change my mind, I don't need to be flexible -- I just change it). This got me to thinking. I wonder if by virtue of my focus on my ability to do it alone, I will ultimately end up testing my ability to do it alone. You know how they say you should operate as though you've got the job you want, or behave like your blessing has already arrived, etc? I wonder if the reverse works? If you plan your life around being able to do it on your own, will end up doing it alone?

The problem with this theory is that even if it's right, what on earth can be done about it? I truly believe that a woman (or man too, really), needs to be able to support his or herself. A relationship needs a bit of independence to keep either party from feeling stifled. What is the trick for balancing this independence, with sharing?

An interesting question, but not one I actually need to answer today. At the moment, no one's making an application to be a permanent resident on my island...and everyone else is kickin' it on the beach. Enjoy the sun, tourists!!


*If this invoked the hook of a particular song, then you seriously need to get out of my head. If it didn't, then I'll help you out: http://youtu.be/jCUiGArhW2M